I had a dream where I was tripping on LSD, and - I want to point out, I hadn't actually taken any LSD! It was just sort of a side effect of the dream. Anyway, so I was tripping on acid, and I was looking at the hot dog buns and I could see the preservatives. So I didn't want to eat them anymore! Ugh, who would?
But then she pointed out, Joe, man, you eat preservatives all the time and you know they're in there! Why should it make a difference that you can see them? Which made sense, which convinced me. So I ate them.
Then she was like, "THE HOT DOGS AREN'T EVEN DONE YET! You just ate all the buns!" Oops.
No pleasing her. I said "turn down the heat a bit, I'll run get some more buns!" (first I had tried to make more hot dog buns appear using my mind, but the LSD apparently had neutralized my usual lucid-dream powers of suggestion). So I took off in the car to the Safeway, to get more buns. Tripping on acid.
This should have been the best part of the dream, but nothing happened.
I made it to the store and back with the buns eventlessly (the usual cute checkout chick was flirting with me - but she was covered with preservatives! Ugh).
I got back with the buns, hungry and ready for some dogs! Still hungry, despite the fact I'd eaten all those other buns (this is actually perfectly realistic). The buns I came back with were all organic. She kind of gave me a look on that. Me and my damn preservatives. But the dogs were hot and ready!
Then I sat down, ready to chaw into my hot dog - but the relish! The relish was spiders! I couldn't even deal. I mean, I could tell that it was relish, but it was spiders. The spiders were themselves, somehow, relish. Fully relish, yet at the same time, fully spiders. I could not deal!
"Joe." She said, patiently. "You love spiders."
Which made sense, which convinced me. I ate that dog in two bites.
But all that just underscores the reason I don't take "the drugs." I feel like, in a mind state like that - people could talk me into anything! Come on.
Spiders!
1 comment:
You crack me up! lol
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