I remember we saw the local high school production of Brigadoon when I was in I don't know, 7th or 8th grade. They used to do a hell of a job on their yearly musical, did Holy Spirit, and they bussed in all the regional grammar schools (just the upper grades, 7 and 8, maybe 6 - I don't think 6) to catch a weekday matinee glimpse of the action in the weeks leading up to the big opening debut.
The ushers were high school girls, which to me at the time, was incredibly hot. You know. Older women. I was like (very much on the inside mind you, I was a real introvert at the time - a phase I was born into) "hubba, hubba."
So, I'm in the aisle seat at intermission or whatever, and the guy in the row ahead of me asks the usheress, hey I'm thirsty can I go get some water? But something in his tone, clearly he just wants to go f'ing around, and she's not buying it. She tells him: "Swallow your spit." Just that sassy. I was like, in love.
But with no beat missed, HE returns brightly: "My mouth's dry, can I swallow yours?"
Who was that kid? I don't remember and I don't think it matters. Because who was that kid?
He was my HERO.
At that point.
Pig that I kind of was.
Thank God I eventually became a feminist. Mental evolving, awww yeah.