So. After conversation with people at work, it appears that the ants in my house are not there in any attempt to impugn or criticize my impeccable cleanliness. They're just trying to come in from the cold. I admit this is possible, as I only recently started using the thermostat. And then suddenly the ants started showing up, but I didn't connect the two events.
I have to say, California ants must be pussies. I'm from back East, I don't recall any ants trying to come in from the cold. I wouldn't see an ant all winter. Those little dudes dug in and toughed it out in their little burrow cities.
These California ants...pretty shabby. Get out of here guys. Quit pretending you're foraging, there's no damn food in here!
Man, I'm kind of hungry myself. I'd go get something to eat, but it's fucking cold out there.