Available To Be Compensated

So I was looking at my Mandatory FTC Full Disclosure Notice (in the sidebar, right below the "Who Am I?", right above the "Today's Cat & Girl" button), where I disclose that so far I've gotten jack nil in terms of $ or swag from running this blog.

I'd like to spruce that disclosure notice up a bit. I'd like to spruce it up by disclosing some actual, countable cashola. What do people blog for, if not for the money?

So I looked back through my blog, and identified the two likeliest deep-pockets contributors:

Coca-Cola

McDonald's

Hi Coke! Hi McDonald's!

I couldn't help notice the multiple sincere endorsements I've put out there over the years for both of your fine products and/or services. I'm guessing that if you cut me a check with multiple zeroes (between 3 zeroes and an arbitrarily large number of zeroes - no decimal point, please) and at least one positive integer at the front of it all, and I then disclose that payoff right there in my disclosure notice, such an act might well galvanize the buying public to increase their intake of and/or demand for your products/services.

The best part is, on my part at least, the real work's been done already. So you know exactly what you're getting!

A bold proposal, I know. But as I always say: bold words call for bold times.

Comments

Elliott said…
Sweet, sweet Internet swag? Is that code for washed-up porn stars? I'm no mad scientist, but they can't be 19 forever.
dogimo said…
"Swag" is generally merch, though it can also be loot. I've never heard it used to refer to a person. Maybe it could be, but I'd generally use a different word for that one.

I have to tell you though - 19? Dude. The last time I was seriously attracted to a 19-year old was when I was seventeen.

Oh wait! I remember there was also that one time when I was 20. But that didn't work out at all. I felt like such a pervert!
dogimo said…
It's a fair cop!

I take it from the DIY punk type standpoint: any fat stacks of capital the corporate pigs want to funnel down my artistic sinkhole is just fuel for the revolution as far as I'm concerned. They're going to waste their money on something anyway! TAKE it from 'em.

Then: use it against 'em.
dogimo said…
@McDonald's: I'm just kidding! That previous response was just kidding. It was also typed while I ate heartily on a #13 meal: your stalwart Beefy McAngus Bacon-Cheddar Special, with a supersize fries and a Hi-C! Delicious.

@Coca-Cola: have I ever told you how much I love your Dynamic Ribbon Device™?