Feeling a little overwhelmed by all your many, many comments that crop up on your blog posts? You love comments! You love each of your commenters (except for, you know, that one guy). You want each to feel individually responded to. Well, that's where I come in! To pick up a little of your slack. I Will Respond To Your Comments For You!
Yes, it's time to offer another Feature/Service. Here at Consider Your Ass Kicked!, we here at Consider Your Ass Kicked! can never be standing still, because it's about moving forward. It's not about standing still.
(Technically, it's all about doing the hokey pokey - no one's arguing otherwise).
So put in your dibs in my comments queue here, in this post! FIRST DIBS FIRST SERVED! I'm not going to do more than one of these at a time - my focus is on focus, and quality. You put your dibs in, plus the deets we need to work out a pre-scheduled arrangement. Tell me which one post next week you'll be wanting me to handle your comment-answering duties for - just pick a week-day next week that works for both of us (I'm fine). Identify which post, either by title, topic, or (if you want it to be a surprise) post time (INCLUDE TIME ZONE if not PST!), (and then you can just "forward schedule it" to hit at that exact time! This will also give you time to come up with a suitably juicy post - you don't want me sopping up on a second-rater! This is your one chance for me to SHINE! Set the stage, is all I'm saying).
VERY IMPORTANT: If you don't include the deets I need, if the post I'm supposed to do can't be clearly pre-identified (by day plus either title, topic, or post time) than I'm sorry, but I can't accept your bid! I will have to move on to the next one.
If yours is the winning (first-submitted-acceptably) bid, I'll give you the confirmation right there via comment reply. Then all you have to do is sit back and watch me work. At the end of the appointed day, I will come in, like any other commenter a bit late to the party, and nonchalantly run down the whole gamut of whose gone before:
And so on, and so on. People will be like - "Who's THIS asshole?? Why is my comment being handed off to some scrub to answer?" It will be a treat! Now, those above are all just made-up examples, but clearly you see where the knack is at - and I GOT IT. And I would KEEP gettin' it. I would sit on that post like a gitmo marine on fence duty. Respond back to each incoming wave, at the end of every day for a period of a full week (I mean working week, OK? five working days). All I'd ask is in return is, respect the guest shot OK? Don't undermine me. If you want to come in and "get yours" afters, cool. I mean, if I didn't do a good enough job - COOL, that's fine! Do it! But you know, keep a lid on it during if that's okay, until my stint's run dry? It's just being respectful. Thanks.
One-time only offer. Void where appropriate.
Yes, it's time to offer another Feature/Service. Here at Consider Your Ass Kicked!, we here at Consider Your Ass Kicked! can never be standing still, because it's about moving forward. It's not about standing still.
(Technically, it's all about doing the hokey pokey - no one's arguing otherwise).
So put in your dibs in my comments queue here, in this post! FIRST DIBS FIRST SERVED! I'm not going to do more than one of these at a time - my focus is on focus, and quality. You put your dibs in, plus the deets we need to work out a pre-scheduled arrangement. Tell me which one post next week you'll be wanting me to handle your comment-answering duties for - just pick a week-day next week that works for both of us (I'm fine). Identify which post, either by title, topic, or (if you want it to be a surprise) post time (INCLUDE TIME ZONE if not PST!), (and then you can just "forward schedule it" to hit at that exact time! This will also give you time to come up with a suitably juicy post - you don't want me sopping up on a second-rater! This is your one chance for me to SHINE! Set the stage, is all I'm saying).
VERY IMPORTANT: If you don't include the deets I need, if the post I'm supposed to do can't be clearly pre-identified (by day plus either title, topic, or post time) than I'm sorry, but I can't accept your bid! I will have to move on to the next one.
If yours is the winning (first-submitted-acceptably) bid, I'll give you the confirmation right there via comment reply. Then all you have to do is sit back and watch me work. At the end of the appointed day, I will come in, like any other commenter a bit late to the party, and nonchalantly run down the whole gamut of whose gone before:
@MySpaceinvader - it's true what you say, and funny as well, but have you considered the legality?
@Patrice Peaubert - I love your name! The funniest blognames are the ones deliberately picked to sound like a real name, only with just that faintly ridiculous over-the-top sing-songyness that tips you off that it's a true creation. But if it were your real name, what blessings for those who know you! They could say things like "Hello, Patrice Peaubert." (Mentally, I'm pronouncing that PO-BEAR - if I'm wrong, I don't wanna know!)
@JimmyLinguistic - is that like JohnnyMnemonic? Seriously, JimLing, I get what you're saying here. And who wouldn't want to come off as the big hero in that situation? Especially right there in front of her parents! I'm feeling for you man, but sometimes you just have to "declare victory and depart the field" as they say. You can't depend only on others for your validation.
@blockheed - LOLZ!
And so on, and so on. People will be like - "Who's THIS asshole?? Why is my comment being handed off to some scrub to answer?" It will be a treat! Now, those above are all just made-up examples, but clearly you see where the knack is at - and I GOT IT. And I would KEEP gettin' it. I would sit on that post like a gitmo marine on fence duty. Respond back to each incoming wave, at the end of every day for a period of a full week (I mean working week, OK? five working days). All I'd ask is in return is, respect the guest shot OK? Don't undermine me. If you want to come in and "get yours" afters, cool. I mean, if I didn't do a good enough job - COOL, that's fine! Do it! But you know, keep a lid on it during if that's okay, until my stint's run dry? It's just being respectful. Thanks.
One-time only offer. Void where appropriate.
Comments
Of course my class has only two or three students. But they're special.
I have a tendency to elaborately offer features and services that no one would want. Of course, if someone takes me up on it, I'm good for it!
Which reminds me. I still have half a month of critiques to post for Eva G. I'm almost done with them! I just need to finish up the last few and post away.
It's cool! She said I could take my time. Can't rush an artist!