For Shame! #2

This is the second in my ongoing attempt to shame myself into buying healthier groceries, using the well-known and socially-accepted exhibitionistic power of blogging to exert a big-time coercive, corrective pressure on what I buy. If I know in advance that all my groceries are going to end up right there for the world to see, then maybe I'll start to think, "hey - maybe I should be putting some effort into thinking these purchases through? Perhaps everything I buy should be bought for a reason. Perhaps the reason should be: Eat healthy, FOOL!"

My inner harangues always slide into a Mr. T voice at some point.

Anyway, here it is, the tale of the tape - the receipt tape, that is. I guess that's not really tape. But it tells its tale all the better for it! And without further ado, that very tale, to which I allude:

Geez. That's not really a "build-up." I don't know what that was. I'm sorry. It's just, some dude posting his groceries...this is not exactly gripping material. I guess I'm a little guilty of trying to "punch it up" a little, or rather, of failing to do so.

So.

Let's See What Have We Here:

French Berry Lemonade, and French Lemonade. I like a non-alcoholic, non-plain-fresh-delicious-water beverage every now and then, and these are not too sweet! Nice.

Corn Flakes. I only got these because last time, I didn't realize the box I had was about empty, and I had a big thing of milk I bought last time specifically to eat the Corn Flakes with! But it's all good outcome, because I love Corn Flakes. Especially when I'm in that mood.

Thomas' English Muffins. I got two packs of these! That's a lot of muffins. It was buy one get two. I almost left the other behind, because do I need that many? But from my standpoint, that would be like throwing it in the trash, and in a world where people are starving, that's just more human cruelty than I personally want to contribute to. Better to take that extra pack home with me. If I don't get around to eating it in time - hey, birds starve too! I'll lend 'em a hand, via a hand-crumbled stale-muffin handful of crumbs, or rather twelve muffins' worth of. The resultant tweets will be bird-language for "YUM! Thanks, ape!"

It's not an insult! Birds just think we're apes. They don't know. Can't tell the difference! It's not racist, they just have such tiny brains.* Besides, to a bird, an ape is a highly-evolved higher organism - so it would be a compliment, if anything. They would look up to that ape, in wonder, saying "man, those apes are advanced! How do they do that, with the bananas? I wish we birds had that level of advancement." And we in turn look up at the birds in flight, which to them, seems so easy.

Campbell's soup: 3 cans chicken noodle, 2 cans Chunky chicken corn chowder. I only got these because all week with the flu, I was like "man! I'm glad this isn't a cold or I would totally be out of my mind not having any chicken soup in the house!" Because that's what you want, with a cold. But with a flu, you don't want that! You just want maybe some saltines. Which I did not have.

Saltines. No explanation necessary for these, I would hope.

For that matter, enough with all the justifications! I think I'm taking that "every purchase should have a reason" thing a bit too literally.

Loaf of bread. Which of course, was the reason I went back in the first place! "This time, we didn't forget the gravy!" Sorry - I didn't get any gravy, I'm just making a literary allusion.

Frozen Belgian waffles. I love these! Just as waffles, but also, I might be making burgers this week. You may scoff, but these make awesome "edgy" nontraditional, confrontational, in-your-face BUNS! And it's not only about the shock value either. Those waffle pockets are as if they were custom-designed ketchup traps. And the cross-beam construction makes them sturdy enough to stand up to the thickest, juiciest patty you can grill.

King Kelly brand orange marmalade. What a great-looking product this is.



What a great-looking product that is. I don't even like marmalade! I'll let you know how it tastes.

I should mention, the only reason I got the english muffins in the first place was to go with this sweet-looking marmalade. Although it goes without saying that I love me some english muffin. But I like to put something on it, though.

Challenge (brand) butter. For the muffins. I mean, I had butter already, but not enough for all those fucking muffins I had to get, once they laid that "get one free" guilt trip on me!

I think that's everything. I think I got everything, too! Except damn. I meant to swing through the fresh produce section, "pad my stats" a bit health-consciousness wise. I mean, I do do that often, and not to pad my stats either! I love fresh produce. But usually it's to cook with. I'm not in a high-gear "cooking things" phase, right now. It's cyclical. Lately I may eat out more, but when I do, it's healthy! My home stuff, again, only lately, I've been going more for spartan. Spartan meals.

So anyway. I don't know that I did much better than last trip, but it's an in-process process.




I only went back to the store so fast because I forgot the bread last time. I can't live in a house without bread. Bread is highly symbolic of food! A house without bread is a house of want. Of course, in addition to being symbolic of food - it is food.

Even better yet! Another reason to keep it in the house.