Insomnia? I'm Trying To Help!

I'm in the process of compiling a long list of my most boring posts, for you to use as a resource when insomnia strikes. That may take a while - in the interim, the "lucky, punk?" random button at the top works pretty well for that purpose.

But all of that's more in the nature of treatment. I'd like to talk to you about something a little better than that! Prevention, maybe? Maybe just something as simple as understanding. A lot of people seem to be talking about their problems with insomnia. Do you have insomnia? Do you know what causes it? How did you happen to get it? Is it something you've done? Is it something you do?

Maybe it is something you failed to do.

What is it at the root of what's keeping you up, tossing and turning, miserable nights? Have you examined yourself deeply for clues? Are you being punished? Are you punishing yourself? Is Jesus punishing you? Did you repent to Jesus? What did you do that was so awful?

Now I want to make one thing clear: I'm not being accusatory, here. And I'm certainly not being insulting! I'm trying to help. I'm not trying to get the dirt from you either, on whatever it is you did. That's not my business, I'm not your father confessor! But sometimes it does help to unburden yourself. I'm here for you, if you want to come clean.

Have you tried repenting to Jesus? Do you have any idea what it is you did? Maybe even if you don't know what you did, that was so wrong, maybe try repenting to Jesus anyway. Modern studies hint that Jesus is often able to work miracles in ways that mirror science's powerful "placebo effect" - which is the proven, technical term for when you get better, even though it's based on faith in something that turns out to be basically sugar pills. So why not try Jesus for your insomnia? Just imagine when it works! Soon you'll be drifting off to dreamland, sleeping the sweet, untroubled sleep of a sailor in port. Surely that sounds better than an eternity in hell, wailing and gnashing it up down by the fiery lakeside? Sipping a tall cool class of caustic hydrochloric acid.

Okay, maybe your trouble has nothing to do with Jesus. Maybe you did nothing wrong, and you are being tormented for no reason. Feel better?

I'm just trying to help. I'm trying to throw out proven, creative ideas that have worked for millions of insomnia suffers. If you don't want to try Jesus, that's fine! I'm not pushing the Lord, here. This is about relief of symptoms: PERIOD.

Anyway, you don't need to cop an attitude with me, pal. Last I checked, I'm not the one with insomnia.