Do You Feel Lucky?

(and feel free to comment! My older posts are certainly no less relevant to the burning concerns of the day.)

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

"About How To Blog": Establishing Your Unique Niche

Hi!

On today's (or rather, this week's) installment of "About How To Blog", we examine a very bedeviling question: how do I go about establishing a unique niche for my blog?

Well, that's easy. Glad I asked!

First, make a strong statement of purpose. What are you trying to accomplish? Don't worry about it too much, it's just a sort of "focusing" exercise. If you find later you disagree with your strong statement of purpose, you can always delete it or take it down.

Next, features. Recurring features. Yes, of course in-between installments of recurring features you'll want to post whatever off the top of your head! What could be more unique than the top of your head? No one has access to that. Except you, I mean. Presumably you have access! But in-between those solid, dependable head-top posts, you'll want to rotate in some regular features to provide structure. It's like in a sauce. There are things in there, that provide the structure.

So, start off on a regular feature where you invent fictitious persons and interview them. Like a talk show! That's a good one. Also, add in maybe an advice column where people write in to ask a hand-puppet questions about science. Perfect! Throw in old entries from your dream journal, that's another good recurring feature. You can squeeze as many posts out of that as you have ever had dreams (as long as you wrote 'em down!). And when you run out - great! A perfect excuse to have more dreams! Write 'em down, though - dreams fade. Dreams don't last. Not in this harsh world.

At some point along the line, mix it up even more. Figure out how to post an embedded You-Tube video as a post, then really go to town on that. There might be certain songs you like so much, you might post three, four, or more times. Even like eight times - that says something about you, when you do that. It says something about your insistence. When it comes to a great song, different versions, same version - hey, it's worth it either way! You ever heard of anybody who only ever wanted to hear a great song once? People need to be exposed. They wouldn't be clicking on the internet otherwise.

I love how on some fonts, "clicking around on the internet" really looks like "dicking around on the internet." A freudian slip of the eyes!

Variety is important. You want to make certain you post a variety of posts that reflects on your personal variety of things that define you, whether self-wise or just opinion- or brain-wise. Post about God a lot. Post about blogging. Post concert reviews, movie reviews. Post your own original fiction and poetry (at some point, you'll want to set up a separate blog for the poetry - nobody wants to see that shit). Make up fake recipes, post a few of those. Take stands on the issues. Don't be afraid to take a stand! You can always put it back later. Post about artistic integrity.

And in-between all that topical stuff, keep bringing in the new recurring features. Post your grocery receipts if you have to. You have to keep things fresh, keep adding in things to give your blog that structure and that flavor. Did you know in olden times they just kept that soup pot going all the time? They never changed the water out! They just kept putting in new things, new fillings and goodies, until it was perfect. New broth and seasonings. They kept adding new things back in in the morning, to replace the bowls-ful of old, cooked things that were being ladled out at night. That soup pot would go non-stop in this fashion for one whole year, and then every June 14th they'd dump whatever was in there and scour the damn thing out, and boy would it smell! Anyway, that's why those old pots were so black. Hence the old saying - and once again demonstrating, those old sayings always had some crucial truth at the bottom of them. But that's just how they did things in those days! We know better now, I guess.

Your blog should be intelligent. I don't mean like, artificially intelligent, like it becomes self-aware and tries to take over the internet! Heck no - try to curb that, if possible. No, I mean it should be genuinely intelligent. You should just put out a real smart kind of vibe. Be assured. Be informative. Make facts up if you have to, but when someone comments pointing out some mistake, or flaw in your reasoning, be polite and admit it right there in the comments queue of that post! That's called being gracious and open-minded, and they will definitely appreciate it and be very impressed. Not a lot of folks on the internet can admit they're wrong - this will set you apart. You can always take that post down a week or two later. They won't notice.

You have to do every one of these things. Just doing one of them isn't going to set you apart. But you'll be so glad you did! I'm telling you, you can't go wrong by carving out your own unique niche. And the method I've described is just the proven way to go.

At least, that's how I do it! Your results may vary - but if they do, well, maybe you're just not doing it right. Go back and read the whole thing again, with an eye toward what you might have missed.

Once again, that's "About How To Blog."

2 comments:

limom said...

"you're not doing it right"
My ceramics professor used to tell me that all the time.
I should pay you for listing all these SOPs.
Where is the donate button?

dogimo said...

I was going to put one of those in, but then that whole FTC full-disclosure thing came up and I was like "too hectic"