Do You Feel Lucky?

(and feel free to comment! My older posts are certainly no less relevant to the burning concerns of the day.)

Wednesday, February 03, 2010

Does That Make Me An Alcoholic?

I drink three beers a day. Does that make me an alcoholic?

What about two beers? Suppose I only drink two beers a day? Am I an alcoholic then? Or is that the "healthy recommended dose"? What if I only drink one beer? Can I please not be considered an alcoholic in that instance? If I only drink one beer a day?

SCREW YOU!!! To heck with your judgmentalistic -nesses and -isms! I am going to right now, go drink FIVE BEERS, right now this very instant! Pound 'em! One right after the other! Then we'll see who's an alcoholic!!

Aw, I'm just kidding. I would never do that. Waste good beers like that? Waste good beers, in a binge-pound. What's the point at that point? Who's appreciating that?

Actually I'm out of beers. I need to get more at some point.

Well, that's not entirely true. I'm not "out" - I've got the last one. I've got the last one, right here. Ice-cold and open. Still a little steam rising from that sacred raised circle of bottle-glass, right at the top!

I'm drinking it now.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

It's actually a Buckler, but you know what? Them Bucklers is good! My sister turned me on to those.

She knows her beers!

8 comments:

tattytiara said...

Buckler? I'd never heard of it before. I learned something new on the internet today!

dogimo said...

Techically I usually hear it referred to as "Buckler N.A."

I don't want to cop to what the "N.A." stands for, but I have to say, of all of that..."style"...of beer, this is the only one that I would choose to drink as if it were not. Not "N.A."

Heck, in fact I think even devoted a post to it: Buckler! Product of Holland.

Grant said...

I'll drink to that.

Grant said...

I'll drink to that.

blue said...

He's drinking twice. Looks like you're not the only one. ;P

dogimo said...

@Blue - yeah, I usually delete the superfluous post when I see a verbatim double-submit, but knowing Grant's sly style I said: "THAT's a deliberate joke on his part!"

@Grant - as we always used to say back East (preferably slurrred), "Have another one!"

jill said...

I wonder if the sudden, strong desire for a beer as a result of reading this delectable post makes me an alcoholic. I bet you were being a cruel tease on purpose!

dogimo said...

No please!! I have never to the best of my knowledge been a cruel tease on purpose!

With the exception of, you know, people I literally do or have hang/hung around with. I'm constantly jeering at and teasing them mercilessly! Which is not to say that I class people separately, it's just that in the online realm, it's too easy to take stuff wrong or/and weird, so I try that much harder to keep it on the up-and-up.

But you were just kidding, here I am getting all serious. My apologies!

Seriously, though - if you're ever worried? Alcohol-wise? Go with the Buckler. It's good-tasting, and if you can do fine on those alone, then you know: you're in the clear!