The 'For Shame' series is an ongoing series wherein I attempt to shame myself into buying healthier food, by posting and critiquing my grocery purchases right here in public. Results so far have been uniformly mixed.
That was a catastrophe, but a mitigated one. I suppose.
I just spent close to $900 on groceries, a lot of which I didn't need, but I bought anyway because I was starving and hurrying and scurrying and just tossing whatever looked good into the cart. I bought stuff I haven't bought in years, such as donuts. Come on. That's unnecessary.
But it's a mitigated catastrophe, because in with all the 'impulse buys', I did get some healthier-type stuff as well. Admittedly, not all "health food," but a lot of staples and good healthy food of substance. Stuff like carrot juice, tangerine juice, whole milk, water, beer, (I wasn't just starving, I was thirsty too!), rye bread, black forest ham, provolone, eggs, cream cheese, english muffins, waffles, fresh peaches & nectarines, Weetabix, and an onion.
But then there are the other purchases, not-so-easily justified. Potato chips - two kinds! 3-cheese dip with pepperoncini! Entenmann's glazed buttermilk donuts. Salsa. Okay, there's nothing wrong with salsa. Except I didn't get any tortilla chips! What a dip! I guess I can't give myself too much shit on the paprika, either. Paprika is something that every house should have in the spice cabinet. It only counts as "junk food" once you start dipping straight into it with a spoon. Which I've cut way down on, since the last time I was called upon to make perfect deviled eggs and found myself humiliatingly paprikaless! That was what they call "a wake-up call."
So yeah, that probably doesn't seem like much of a catastrophe, does it? Well for that, I take full credit because after I filled up my cart and was about to turn its grinding, squeaking, protesting wheels toward the checkout, I snapped out of it for a second. Looked at all the food I had chosen. There was a damn coconut layer cake on there in a pink box! I made a grim face, and another whole trip back through the whole store, putting stuff back. My cart prior to that had been brimful.
The donuts only survived the cut because I'd hidden them under a huge bag of celery. Although, then I put back the celery, too. Wasn't in a celery mood. Not sure how I missed seeing the donuts after that. I suppose on some level, me purchasing those donuts was a deliberate move. A deliberate attempt to self-sabotage. I'll have to watch that, about me.
The worst part of the whole episode was when I left. I was starved, okay? And that McDonald's was right there. I don't blame myself. I blame my friend. We went to dinner Wednesday, we were talking about movies, which led to documentaries, which led to Morgan Spurlock's Super-Size Me, which we talked about and dissected in depth and at length, and ever since then I've had a horrific and overpowering McDonald's urge! Just rising and cresting within me. That's not my fault, it was inflicted upon me.
So OK, it was on balance, kind of a catastrophe. But I'm going to go have a nectarine, and try to keep moving forward in a positive direction. And maybe a donut, too. Those things are good on a level that can only be described as cracktified.
EDIT: Holy shit, what a typo! I originally put "I just spent close to $100 on groceries," but really it was $91.35, which is a lot closer to $90 than to $100. So I changed it. I was like, "no need to inflate the drama." Except unfortunately, I left the extra zero in there! Heck, that's a typo too funny not to keep. Round it up to a grand at that point, dude! Even at Nob Hill, that buys a lot of groceries!
I did buy a ton of food, though. Not $900 worth, but a ton.
19 comments:
I have to admit, my eyebrows shot up when I saw the $900! I was thinking, WTF? Is he feeding an army platoon? And paprika by the spoonful? I could understand if it was brown sugar, peanut butter, or chocolate fudge sauce--but paprika??
Thanks for the clarification.
Nine hundred bucks worth of food?
I was wondering if you were like never leaving home again.
Then the cake would've been totally justified.
@Eva - Yeah, I should put the disclaimer closer to the typo probably! $900 bucks, holy cow. Still, I guess all I'd have to do is buy ten of everything I bought one of. Crazy how simple math can just scale things up.
With help from supportive friends, and a little self-discipline, I think I've finally kicked my debilitating paprika habit. I'm on cardamom to "ramp down." Cardamom is the paprika addict's methadone.
@limom - man, putting that cake back was hard. That cake looked perfect.
I had to do it, though. I don't have one of those elevated cake platforms, with the glass lid. You need that, to do a cake like that justice.
Cracktified! That describes it exactly!. Oh how I love donuts. But the plain kind. So dear to me are they, that when I got my new camera one of the first pictures I took was this attempt at “still life”
http://img52.imageshack.us/img52/9123/donuts.png
Glad to see WeetABix made it into the trolley!
Plain kind, Mel? Mel, no: glazed. Glazed, Mel! Glazed.
That's a lovely, professional shot of those donuts, though! Very nice. Nice focus plane.
Yeah plain. I really don't like glazing. When Krispy Kremes arrived here people went ape. But they don't kick it for me. When I was little a plain donut was a treat when mum and I went to the local shopping centre. I used to watch them shoot out of the machine onto the turntable and conveyor belt - magic... and then the cinnamon!, I could make that sucker last for hours with little nibbles!
PS: I'm wondering if now that you've recently bought some and partaken in their glaziness, you no longer feel donuts are "unneccesary". Because they are more than necessary, they are essential.
I was waiting to hear what you'd bought that could possibly add up to $900. I've spent over $300 sometimes, if I was buying a lot of spices and vanilla, wine, cleaners, medicine, shampoo & conditioner, face wash, toilet paper, plastic bags, that kind of stuff. That stuff adds up. But this sounded relatively similar to the same stuff you always get, except maybe two trips in one. You were listing doughnuts and black forest ham and coconut cake---I was thinking maybe it was a cake they have at the store brought in from a gourmet bakery or something, but even with a $30 coconut cake and a giant tin of paprika (I hope you got the Hungarian kind!), you've got a long way to go until you reach $900! You need to be at a store with candied violets and lavender flowers and individual whole madagascar vanilla beans in those little test tubes. You need to buy a whole nest of saffron strands and the star anise in those jars that look like perfect little stars in rings. Plus like five bottles of champagne or something.
I love doughnuts too! But I think somehow I've given them up for Lent. I really love them. Really good ones. Those Entenmann's ones are okay, but only in comparison to other store-bought boxed doughnuts. Which is fine in many cases. :) I have a picture of my own to link to, though! It's not the best picture---it was from an attempted iSight photo essay on a certain store's doughnuts when I didn't have my real camera.
http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a387/bluela/TopPotJellyhalfeaten.jpg
@Mel - see, I don't like the granular sugar on my lips. At least, it's okay, but not in comparison to glazed. I prefer the glazed. Oh, and I haven't yet partaken. That's right, I'm holding out. Can I make it 'til morning?
@blue - I need to go shopping with you, that's what I need to do! You seem to know your way around the good stuff. I didn't get a giant tin of paprika, just a 2 oz jar of Morton & Bassett paprika. The packaging doesn't specify the raw material country of origin, though.
Oh Blue, that looks good. That's what we down here call a jam donut. And the glazing looks easy to peel off. Perfect!
I once did a gigantic monster shop which was full of stuff I don't normally buy, including some luxury bakery items and fancy juice, and the cart was overflowing. But it all came to about $220 so when I saw $900 there I almost fainted, imagining an army of Oompa Loompas carting them out to your car for an hour! :)
As for eating the nectarine and a donut - this is what is meant by a "BALANCED" diet, no?
@Mel - we call that a jelly donut up here, miss. There's no glazing on there! That's just powdered sugar. You don't need to peel that off!
(and Blue - BOY does that look good!)
@The Vegetable Assassin - that's got to be the second-most provocative typo I've ever made! Hoo! I couldn't say what the first-most was, I just like to leave a little room in the top spot. I feel like there must have been one more provocative. Surely, there must.
Oh, I ate the nectarine right away, about 4:30pm. I didn't break into the donuts until 9pm or so. But yeah, balance is definitely what I'm aiming for! Just not right at the same time.
powdered sugar - yum! - thanks for the clarification.
I remember my favourite typo of yours Joe, when you said you were one of 98 children. I was like, whoa, that's prolific!
:-)
I catered a wedding and didn't spend $900 (understanding it was a typo, but still...) However, I've also spent $400 in one trip just to have some people over. I have self-control issues. And yes, once the cake crossed the cart's edge, it wouldn't have come back out until the register.
And now I want donuts.
The grocery receipts, especially long ones, go on the refrigerator door. Not sure why, my father always did that (so we couldn't complain about nothing to eat) and it just seems normal.
Plus, I like seeing how much I saved on each trip. The 'Buy One, Get One' tags in the meat department are fantastic.
@Mel - huh, maybe something about the number nine.
@Elliott - you're saying you've continued the fridge-door receipt tradition? That's awesome!
I just thought the fridge was a magic box that filled with food automatically by complaining about it. No I'm kidding, I used to catch mom sneaking the food in there from time to time. But the receipt trick would've put some subtle point home about the value of the dollar adding up, etc etc.
I like to put up receipts from stores where I get prepared refrigerated foods on the door, so I know what there is in there and don't let it go to waste. I'd do the same with regular receipts, but I think it would get confusing. I also already know the grocery store trips are expensive, so I think having the receipts prominently displayed would be more likely to cause upsetting drama I'd rather avoid!
But Elliott, that's definitely another time when I've spent a lot. I was going to mention that just going to another person's dinner party, you often have to grab a few things to make a special dish, and then if you add wine on to that, perhaps an extra dessert for your host(s), and maybe flowers, so there's nearly $100. Even just buying stuff for a special dinner for two you can spend a fair amount. I remember once buying a whole bunch of shots of espresso because I needed them to make tiramisu and didn't have my own espresso machine. Really, how are you supposed to get the espresso for that recipe? And that was expensive, even though the counter guy was amused and gave me a deal. That plus two bottles of wine, veal for the main course, and even smaller things like the produce: arugula, endive, fresh basil, three lbs of organic roma tomatoes. . . it all adds up pretty quickly and it's easy to get well toward $200 and even above. I would often think about that when I was in a habit of making dinners for my ex-boyfriend, wondering if he realized I spent as much on groceries when I made dinner for us as he did when he took us someplace fancy. And that's not even counting the labor! Turning those tomatoes into sauce and making tiramisu is fairly labor-intensive. :)
Blue, I have instant espresso powder. If your store doesn't have it in the coffee aisle, check the ethnic foods aisle, I think I bought mine with the bulk dried beans and masa.
If I cooked the way I wanted to for the two of us, our bill would be far higher. Meat boosts the bill some, but fresh produce is much worse on the bottom line, I've found.
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