Lately I Feel Like I'm Trying Too Hard.

Lately I feel like I'm trying too hard.

I'm not trying too hard to be liked.

I'm not trying too hard to be funny.

I'm not trying too hard to be weird, unusual, or quirky/idiosyncratic.

I'm not trying too hard to be cool.

I'm not trying too hard to be smart, wise or insightful.

I'm not trying too hard to be effective.

I'm not trying too hard to be caring or compassionate.

I'm not trying too hard to be creative.

I'm not trying too hard to be good, virtuous or admirable.

I'm not trying too hard to be impressive.

I'm not trying too hard to be anything I can put my finger on! I just feel like I'm trying too hard. Lately.

Not even "in general," per se. I feel like it's much more specific than that, I just don't know what.

Or perhaps, how.

It's really kind of low-key vexatious.

Anyway, I'm not going to worry about it too much. I just need to stop it, that's all.

Comments

blue said…
Are you trying too hard to be careful, cautious, and/or safe?
Mel said…
Hopefully you don't feel that you are failing at whatever it is you think you are trying too hard at. I think we are hardest on ourselves when we think we aren't succeeding at what we are trying so hard to do, so we just keep pushing even harder and getting more despondant.

Anyway, don't try too hard to work out what you're trying too hard at!

Stay cool.
Sarah said…
Wow. You have got to stop trying so hard. I highly recommend sitting on the couch and not folding laundry. It's pretty awesome.
dogimo said…
@blue - that's freaky scary because I wouldn't have even thought of those things, and OF COURSE I AM! Holy cow. I definitely have to stop trying too hard there!

@Mel - I would look at it as less failure against objective standards and more failure against my own standards. I think we definitely are hardest on ourselves - or at least, I know I am!

@Sarah P - you know, if I didn't make myself fold my clothes at the laundramat, I would NEVER FOLD THEM. I'd just pull 'em out all rumpled.

In a side note, I'm so glad there's no washer-dryer in the house. I hated having to do tiny loads of laundry every couple days. One trip to the laundramat takes me two hours and I don't have to go back for six weeks! Admittedly, I dress a little on the funny side that sixth week.