"Man, I'm hungrier than a bear breakfast seminar on hibernation wake-up day."Wait, I'm not sure that works. It sounds like the seminar is hungry. Whereas, in fact it would be all the attendees, who were hungry. A seminar can't feel hunger, per se. Plus, "seminar"? Are they learning bear-related things? "Conference" doesn't have the same ring to it, though.
- Me
Ok, how about:
"Man, I'm busier than a bear breakfast buffet on hibernation wake-up day!"Yeah!! Much better.
- Me
Except I'm hungry. Not busy! Well, I'm busy, too, but not that busy. No where near that busy! That would be one damn busy buffet, you would have to imagine.
Also, "bear breakfast buffet" could be problematic. You get the sense it's probably a place for bears to go eat a buffet breakfast, but you also get the sense that it could be a place not for bears, but for regular people, to go eat a buffet breakfast that consists of bears. Which is ludicrous on the face of it! Regular people simply do not eat bear.
But you don't like the tinge of syntactic confusion, either. Ah, hell:
"Man, I'm nervouser than the wait-staff at the bear hibernation wake-up day breakfast buffet!"
- Me
Shit, that's no good at all. I'm not even slightly nervous.
I'm starved, is what I am. Man, am I hungry. I'm as hungry as ten bears.
4 comments:
Wasn't Ten Bears in "The Outlaw Josie Wales?"
Man. I haven't seen that flick in ages! I couldn't say. Couldn't say.
I need to see it again - what a classic film. I almost picked up a box set (including that one) of five Clint Eastwood non-spaghetti westerns, but I already had 2 of them! Which cut out all the value-added.
Well, I like all the linguistic analysis. Ever taken any linguistics classes? You'd be a natural.
I like the idea of bears having a big buffet breakfast on hibernation wake-up day. But it's got so many new ideas in it, it might be hard to cram them all into one graceful sentence. Also, what would be ON the buffet? Rabbits hopping around? Deer running up and down the table?
Jen I love it! You've taken it to the next level. I was mentally giving those poor bears people food - trays of steaming, fluffy scrambled eggs, a big twisty pile of extra-crisp bacon, sausages, neat rows of stacks of flapjacks & french toast, potatoes and various other hot sides, all arrayed in their hot trays on the sneeze-guarded buffet bar (bears fresh-awoken from hibernation do get the sniffles). Plus at the end of the line, cold fruits, pastries and other dainties - and an omelette station, of course!
Now, you know and I know the bears would have eaten all of that just fine. They are bears, after all! But I bet they'd be a bit let down. This is supposed to be their special-for-bears breakfast. They'd be standing lined up all orderly, waiting for their section of the line to reach the food - trays in paws, all expectant! And then, when they got close enough to crane their necks around and get a good look at what was on offer, why - their faces would fall. I'm sure. Just a little bit! They'd be disappointed. "Where are the rabbits?" "Where are the whole, live, flung salmon? Not this lox crap!!"
I have to totally reorganize this event - and fast. That poor dude at the omelette station does not want to deal with a neverending line of disgruntled and hungry bears!
(oh, and linguistics - thank you for saying I'd be a natural! I haven't pursued it in any formal course of study, but I do love the subject. And anything to do with language)
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