I don't trust the U.S. Army. They came over the other day. I invited them in - I had just made some deviled eggs, which was a damn lucky coincidence! We sat around in the living room talking about old times. Shooting the shit. Vietnam and stuff. Of course, neither I nor they had been in that one, but we've all seen the movies and they really love to to shoot the shit about it. Don't believe people who tell you it's a sore topic! They're quite keen to discuss it.
One guy, a corporal I think, expressed impatience with the dearth of similar quality movies about modern conflicts. I told him "Give it a few more years." He shook his head sadly, saying "it's never going to happen. Vietnam tore our country apart. Its divisiveness is precisely what made it such fertile ground for filmmakers with real vision." He sipped one of my Boont Amber Ales and concluded thoughtfully, "The stuff we're doing today is just not as potent."
I had to admit, he had a point. Then we all started talking about football.
I asked one of the female soldiers if she'd let me hold her gun, but she said "No can do." She said it's kind of a policy. I feel like I've seen in movies where Army folks exercise their own judgment on stuff like that! But I guess, probably, that's a good policy for them to have overall. I didn't take it personally.
Anyway, they ate all my eggs, and they drank most of my beer and juice. Which is fine, I don't mind being a gracious host. But as they left, there was just something I couldn't put my finger on. I just don't trust that Army of ours.
I admit, I did feel extremely safe with them in the house. I was like, ooo, now would be the perfect time for some fool to try to invade!
3 comments:
I wasn’t going to mention this, because it was all kinds of weird, but what the hey!
A few weeks ago as part of this long convoluted dream which meandered through various topics, at one point some one asked how I knew you, and this is what went down. I said “Oh, I knew Mr. Sadly back in ‘Nam, back then he was known as Major Sadly. It was the fall of Saigon and he rescued me from sniper fire” I then went on to detail how you took me, a simple farmer from Iowa, under your wing til we safely were evacuated by choppers.
For whatever reason, the one thing that stayed in my mind when I woke up was “why Iowa?” I have no idea where that even is.
We don't know where it is either. Any time you try to travel up in that general area, if you try to ask anybody, "hey which way is Iowa?" they get real vague about the specifics.
I've been to Iowa...contrary to popular belief (based on Kevin Costner films...you know the one...Waterworld), it is NOT heaven.
I have issues with the Air National Guard leaving the toilet seat up so the dog can get in there, but the Army has never been anything but a gracious guest.
Post a Comment