Advice For A Life Lived On The Edge

Always, always:

Drive as if you're about to get pulled over.

Work as if they're deciding whether to fire you.

Make love as if the other person might be cheating, and you want them to be like "whoa, why cheat on THIS?"

Smoke as if facing a firing squad.

Drink as if every beer might be the one drink that pushes you over into alcoholism.

Speak as if the first word you say is the one that matters most, and every single word after that matters a little bit less than the one before. Let your sentences trail off, implying reams of further meaning.

Sleep as if you had goals to accomplish even in the dream world. I can't be overly-specific here, you'll have to work out your own goals from context.

Yawn as if to break your jaw.

Fish like the fish were all reincarnated Nazis.*

Mow the lawn as if maybe you're living in a Stephen King movie. And maybe it's Maximum Overdrive.

Cry as if thinking about something even sadder than what's actually happening.