Every time I'm looking at a sink-full of dirty ol', smelly ol' kitchen dishes, and I tell myself "MAN! I don't want to deal with that before breakfast! I'm just going to do one plate, one each of knife/fork/spoon, the little pan and the spatula. I'll deal with the rest later. AFTER breakfast."
But of course, I have no discipline, no willpower. I fall down on honoring the promises I make to myself. Once that hot, soapy water starts to flow and churn, I'm in there with the sponge and the rubber gloves and I just...I lose all control. It starts small: "Oh, I'm washing forks and knives and stuff anyway, might as well wash all the silverware." But pretty soon I'm washing dishes I have no possible immediate use for. Dishes I have no idea how they got dirty, dishes I didn't even know I had.
I swear, I think those dishes breed in the sink. I have more small plates than I used to.
When I finally tear myself away from the sink, when I can finally step back - not because I've truly regained control, but because there are no more dishes to do - what a pathetic sight I must be at that moment. As it dawns on me once again, that I simply cannot control my own actions - that my will is not enough. I need help, but who can help?
Who can help you not do the dishes?
Ragged breath, face red and hot with shame, blinking back tears, gasping...my mind returns and I see what I've done...good Lord.
There's nothing else for it but to throw in the towel. There's nothing I can do. I'll make some breakfast. Dirty up some more dishes.
The cycle begins anew.