Today, I didn't get drunk. Now if I were an alcoholic, I'd say I was doing pretty well, there. With that. One day at a time! Right? But since I'm not an alcoholic, I don't even know. Can I even brag about something like that?
Screw it, I'm bragging about it anyway. I DIDN'T GET DRUNK TODAY, PEOPLE!
I'm not saying it's an accomplishment, or anything. Just a fact about me. Another nice, random fact. File it under the filing cabinet.
Jeez, but it makes me wonder: when was the last time I got drunk? Really rip-stinking drunk! The kind of drunk where you wake up wearing way too much underwear, like ten pairs, and nothing else? Or the kind of drunk where you wake up ten feet up a tree in nothing but a Snuggie and a stethoscope? Or the kind of drunk where you wake up one shoe off, one shoe on, went to bed with your stockings on? Or whatever. You know what I mean. These specific examples are probably a little far-fetched, but you get what I'm getting at. You wake up in a state of disarray, of some kind.
Man. For me, I honestly can't remember! When was my last big ol' sloppy dumb drunk? The alternate question to get there could be: when was the last time I woke up HURTIN'? And trace it back that way. But nope: I run up against a wall there. A false trail. Because last time I woke up HURTIN' - I didn't drink at all that time. It was a case of food poisoning, which is not a reliable indicator. Food poisoning is more or less "sobriety-neutral."
I guess...OK, I think the last time I was really drunk off my ass was probably February '09.
So, yeah. I got a pretty good streak going, people!
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