I've just made a pretty shocking and disturbing discovery. I've just discovered I have an alternate personality who smokes!
I found a cigarette butt out in the back garden. It couldn't have been me. It must have been him.
What do we call this guy, huh? My vote's "Smokey." Not sure how I can go about polling him for his OK on that one. It kind of has to be unanimous, I mean - if anything, arguably, his vote ought to count for more. I could leave him a note - with the question on the inside of a folded-over slip of paper - but how is he going to know it's for him? Writing "Smokey" on the front would be kind of "begging the question."
I picture Smokey out back there, wearing a pair of mirrored sunglasses like an aviator or a prison guard. Smoking his cigarette. Lip curled in disdain. He has the upper hand and he knows it! At least he knows what to call me. My mail is all over the place.
Where the hell does he stash those cool-ass shades when I'm around and he isn't? I'd love to try those on. Have a smoke in the back garden, maybe sneer a bit.
See what it's like to be "Smokey."
4 comments:
Disconcerting isn’t it. I once woke up to find pistachio shells on my pillow, a quarter of a glass of brandy lime and soda on the bedside table and the television still on.
Who the …?
Shoot Mel, that's a bit on the freakey side. At least mine takes his filthy habits outside!
On behalf of pedantic snobs everywhere, THANK YOU for using "begging the question" the RIGHT way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Why, you're welcome!! I certainly didn't expect to be thanked.
I'm delighted to please.
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