Normally I do my Sunday Theology God Post on Sunday. This week, I'm bringing it to the Jewish Sabbath. That's right: Saturday. Why? Because I want to focus on the Story of Passover. It's a beautiful story.
Why Passover? Why now? Well, I was getting some cream cheese from the fridge and I noticed on the box that it said: "See inside for Passover cheesecake recipe." So my first thought was pretty indignant. I'm not Jewish! What the FUCK do I care about PASSOVER? But then my second thought was to think back to my own Catholic heritage, and how we Catholics kind of regard the Jews as soul brothers (or sisters), owing to the similar emphasis on guilt as a spiritual motivator. We call Abraham our "father in faith." I remembered how we were taught all of those beautiful old Jewish stories, including the story of Passover, which as I recall, was quite beautiful - and so I wanted to share it (and its lesson) with you today. My third thought was: When exactly was Passover? How old is this cream cheese?
Hm. So in preparation for sharing with you the Story of Passover, I thought I'd better bone up on it a bit, using my handy dandy Readin' Bible. And you know what? I just skimmed through it a bit, just now, and I don't know what to tell you, but the story isn't really as beautiful as I recalled. Fuck it. Onward.
So apparently, the angel of God went to Egypt City to massacre a bunch of kids, but the Jews there massacred a bunch of sheep and put the sheep's blood on their door lintel. To this day, every door has a lintel - just in case that shit happens again.
I guess the sheep's blood was the pre-arranged signal: "no Egyptian kids here! Try the next house! Slaughter on, o angel of God!" Or maybe the angel saw the blood and just said "oh, this house is all bloody. I must have been here already."
I don't get it, though - aren't angels psychic? At the very least? Why do they need a bloody door lintel to tell them who the Jews are? I mean, not to put it overly delicately, but the hit list was composed only of first-born sons. Just check the kid's wee-wee, come on.
Anyhow, the Jews wisely put aside such questions and complied with the bloody lintel trick, and the angel of God "passed over" their houses while smiting the houses of the neighboring Egyptrialites with the Plague of the Death of the First-Born Sons.
The lesson to be learned is probably: don't fuck with God. As far as God's concerned, you're pretty much dead in the long run already - and let me tell you, those angels don't sweat the rough stuff one bit.
That's really the same lesson as much of the Old Testament! They really pound that one home.
This has been your Sunday Theology Post, a day early in honor of Passover. Now I better go check that cream cheese.
Why Passover? Why now? Well, I was getting some cream cheese from the fridge and I noticed on the box that it said: "See inside for Passover cheesecake recipe." So my first thought was pretty indignant. I'm not Jewish! What the FUCK do I care about PASSOVER? But then my second thought was to think back to my own Catholic heritage, and how we Catholics kind of regard the Jews as soul brothers (or sisters), owing to the similar emphasis on guilt as a spiritual motivator. We call Abraham our "father in faith." I remembered how we were taught all of those beautiful old Jewish stories, including the story of Passover, which as I recall, was quite beautiful - and so I wanted to share it (and its lesson) with you today. My third thought was: When exactly was Passover? How old is this cream cheese?
Hm. So in preparation for sharing with you the Story of Passover, I thought I'd better bone up on it a bit, using my handy dandy Readin' Bible. And you know what? I just skimmed through it a bit, just now, and I don't know what to tell you, but the story isn't really as beautiful as I recalled. Fuck it. Onward.
So apparently, the angel of God went to Egypt City to massacre a bunch of kids, but the Jews there massacred a bunch of sheep and put the sheep's blood on their door lintel. To this day, every door has a lintel - just in case that shit happens again.
I guess the sheep's blood was the pre-arranged signal: "no Egyptian kids here! Try the next house! Slaughter on, o angel of God!" Or maybe the angel saw the blood and just said "oh, this house is all bloody. I must have been here already."
I don't get it, though - aren't angels psychic? At the very least? Why do they need a bloody door lintel to tell them who the Jews are? I mean, not to put it overly delicately, but the hit list was composed only of first-born sons. Just check the kid's wee-wee, come on.
Anyhow, the Jews wisely put aside such questions and complied with the bloody lintel trick, and the angel of God "passed over" their houses while smiting the houses of the neighboring Egyptrialites with the Plague of the Death of the First-Born Sons.
The lesson to be learned is probably: don't fuck with God. As far as God's concerned, you're pretty much dead in the long run already - and let me tell you, those angels don't sweat the rough stuff one bit.
That's really the same lesson as much of the Old Testament! They really pound that one home.
This has been your Sunday Theology Post, a day early in honor of Passover. Now I better go check that cream cheese.
Comments
But I would like to point out that God, in targeting the firstborn sons, was much more merciful than Pharaoh. Actually, the previous Pharaoh, the one whose reign Moses barely survived. That Pharaoh wanted to kill ALL male Israelite children. And not because the Isralites had repeatedly defied him (as the Egyptians later defied God), but just because he thought there were too many of them. See Exodus 1.
Secondly, it wasn't purely a racial thing. The lamb's blood, besides some other deep symbolism that you've probably heard about, showed which households were obeying God. If an Israelite household had not done the blood thing, we have no reason to believe their firstborn son would have been spared. On the other hand, we DO have reason to believe that any Egyptian family that used the lamb's blood, might have been spared. Something similar to this happened in Ex. 9:19-21, where God actually tells Moses to tell Pharaoh to warn the Egyptians to bring their livestock in so they will not be killed by the hail.
This is not to minimize the horror of Passover. I sometimes get teary eyed when I think about it. I would lose my father, my father in law, my brother, and my precious first son. But that goes back to what you pointed out, we all do die at some point. Passover was a partial judgement, symbolizing the final judgement, which we can also escape by the blood of a Lamb (John 1:29).
But I picked up way more theological stuff after school then while I was going! They actually didn't teach you very much, religion-wise (at least where I went). They gave me just enough of a taste that I took an interest!
My further studies have been pretty much independent.
I think there's a ton of misapplication of doctrine in every stripe. People always want to put a security buffer between them and God, whether the buffer is a series of rituals they perform (and feel their duty is done), or a specific interpretation of scripture that they use to keep any question at arm's length, or an incantation they can shout about how personal their savior is (yet that's as much interaction as they have).
And yet the problem isn't ritual. Isn't interpretation. Isn't incantation. Plenty of people use ritual as a means of truly celebrating their relationship with God and communing with others in God - and God is there. Plenty of people use scripture as an open book and not a closed one, and God is there. Plenty of people affirm that Jesus Christ is their personal savior and it is more than just what they've been taught to say, because they've opened their hearts to it and God is there.
Anyway, there are also a lot of very close-minded, hateful people in every possible denomination. These don't know any better than to cling tight to theirs, and damn everyone else's. It's a very scary world and I don't blame them for holding on to what certainty they can find.
I'm kind of rambling, sorry!
I do tend to run off at the mouth a bit about God!
Regarding your 6th pp, you are right. I've been there. I would describe it as knowing a lot without being regenerate. Scary, sad, exhausting. Hell.
As I write this, you are no doubting reading my Passover comment. Enjoy.
This just seems unfair by modern standards, but that's how they rolled in those days!
I do plan to ask G about it, though. You know. I mean, unless the second you hit heaven all your questions are answered and the scales fall away! Which, I hope that's not how it works. I was planning to spend eternity asking questions! And be well-satisfied.
Mostly I want to corner Plato and see what his take on all that crap is now.