Do You Feel Lucky?

(and feel free to comment! My older posts are certainly no less relevant to the burning concerns of the day.)

Tuesday, May 04, 2010

Tits.

A lot of people have a problem with tits, or even with the word "tits." As a feminist, what I say overrules what they say, on the topic of tits. Unless of course we're talking women! A male feminist can't overrule a female on tits. Unless she's a non-feminist female, of course! But even there, maybe not. It's tricky. The heirarchy probably goes something like this:

Male non-feminist. I put this guy at the top as a nod to the hegemony of the dominant paradigm. This guy is the one who we like to call "The Man", oppressing us all with his damn patriarchy all the time. Still, potentially a good catch, and decent "husband material" if you can get him to bend his benighted ways. His views on tits pretty much set the tone for the male-dominated culture that he superintends.

Female non-feminist. The female non-feminist outranks the male feminist because even though it is her support and complicity that perpetuates the very patriarchy that keeps her under the heel of The Man, she cannot entirely be blamed for this. She's a woman!

Male feminist. Self-explanatory. Nobody cares what he thinks about tits.

Female feminist. Oppressed by all, reviled by all except the male feminist, whom she suspects just wants to "hit that." She is listed at the bottom, to signify the weight of oppression she labors under - both past historical oppression, and the everyday oppression that permeates the sociocultural matrix. You can ask her what she thinks of tits, but don't blame me for what happens.

So as you can see, really, it doesn't matter in the scheme of things what I think about tits.

I do think they're pretty great, though!

4 comments:

Sarah said...

This post is the tits. *up top*

dogimo said...

*FIVE!*

Lunarchick said...

Tits for tats as I am like to say.

dogimo said...

Alice, you have to be careful with that! Some tattoed wag is liable to retort: "So if I show you my tats, you'll..."

I could never be so *ahem* as that. For one thing I haven't got any tats to ante up. I'd have to turn my back real quick and draw an anchor on with a black sharpie!