Why "Star Trek" Is Better Than Lord Of The Rings

on
This is why.

Because one single original-series crew member - even an anonymous redshirt! - armed only with a phaser, could (if he was wary, if he was aware of the danger) could mow down that whole onrushing army of Ents in the scene in the movie where they all attack Isengard.

Easy.

(If there is going to be any debate on the topic, it will occur within the comments queue of this post. If nobody comments, that means every single one of my readers agrees with me.)

Comments

limom said…
I think his phaser battery would like die after one pass.
Like a good redshirt, he'd be killed for the sake of the plot.
June 5, 2010 at 1:40 PM
dogimo said…
I don't know what you mean by "pass." I mean, we can give him a defective piece of equipment, but the fact that you have to do that to change the outcome only affirms the validity of the original premise.

I mean, there looked to be, what - 15 to 30 of those dudes tree-CGI'd in on that raid. A phaser's not a six-shooter, that redshirt can disintegrate a man-sized hole right in the middle of the most vital part of each Ent.

Don't worry, that redshirt's still going to die! Saruman'll drop a rock on his head.
June 5, 2010 at 1:52 PM
limom said…
His phaser will run out juice cause them things are freakin huge!
Maybe he/she could get a few of em, but I don't think all of em.
What if one of them caught on fire and fell on him/her? I mean it is a redshirt.
Now, maybe two dudes with phasers.
Or maybe a couple of photon torpedos.
June 5, 2010 at 2:15 PM
dogimo said…
Well that's what I'm saying, though: it won't take any more juice to take one of those out than it does to kill a man. A phaser set on kill - the whole man glows and vanishes. If you zap that big a piece out of the Ent anywhere in the head, crotch or general trunk - that's an Ent you don't have to worry about.

I don't want to bring the ship into it, or more crew members, because there's just too much risk Kirk is going to want to try to get his hands on The One Ring.

Don't tell me he wouldn't.
June 5, 2010 at 2:21 PM
limom said…
Kirk would covet, but Bones would talk him down.
The scary part would be if the Ring affected the human side of Spock and makes him all twisted.
I'm not ready to concede the phaser thing.
Let me consult the Star Fleet Technical Manual and I'll get back to you.
June 5, 2010 at 11:32 PM
dogimo said…
Aw come on, man. That's like consulting Star Wars novels! I'm only concerned about what can be supported from within the original work, not a lot of ancillary postmortem marketing material written after the fact to explain away nitpicks.
June 6, 2010 at 12:10 AM
limom said…
Unfortunately, my "original" Star Fleet Technical Manual, which I got when I was like in the seventh grade, does not mention the power reserves of a hand phaser.
It does however, say that the effective de-materialize range is 30 meters (Star Fleet Technical Order 01:08:52).
So you may be correct.
June 6, 2010 at 10:05 PM
dogimo said…
You make good points, though - and it wouldn't be a slam-dunk. Those phasers were prone to occasional glitchiness when it served the plot. So he might get hosed on one of those. But if that phaser holds out, he's got the upper hand I think.
June 6, 2010 at 10:57 PM
dogimo said…
Also - you're dead right on the Kirk / Bones point. Bones always was the Sam Gamgee to Kirk's impetuous Frodo.

Merry - Spock
Pippin - Scotty
June 7, 2010 at 10:18 AM
Post a Comment