Do You Feel Lucky?

(and feel free to comment! My older posts are certainly no less relevant to the burning concerns of the day.)

Tuesday, July 06, 2010

2 LBS OF JELLY

Man. I just got this at the store:

Photobucket

And I was like, man. What am I going to do with all this jelly?

Then a still, calm voice at the back of my head chimed in: "It's jelly. You know what to do with it."

You said it, still, calm voice!

NOTE: that jar is even bigger than it looks; my hand is enormous.

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

Well I'm pretty sure those are illegal in many states...

dogimo said...

...and definitely on airplanes!

Mel said...

I have some questions:

1)Does the jar actually say Strawberry "Jelly”?

2)If so, what do you consider to be jam or conserve? (As opposed to a blockage or being environmentally-conscious)

3)What do you call the wobbly stuff in trifle?

4)Maybe you don’t call it trifle.

5)Wait, that last one wasn’t a question, more of a pondering.

dogimo said...

Mel - That's a good question! Wait, that's not helpful - you asked a number of questions. I should have said, "some of these are good questions!"

That's still not too helpful. Hm. Okay:

1) that's a good question.

2) hm. This is a good question up to the question mark.

3) This is a question I can't understand.

4) This isn't a question at all! More a pondering.

5) ah.

Hope that clears it up!

dogimo said...

You're out of luck, Mel. :-( I was going to link you to my post all about "jam" vs. "jelly" vs. "preserves" vs. "marmalade" - all based on how I see it, and how I use the terms!

But it's not a post. It's a draft. It's still jelling.

Anyway. I never use "conserve" for that sense. I'm aware there is a sense of that word that people apply to preserved fruit, but I don't buy it.

I looked up "trifle" and we don't do that here. Looks like jello with meringue on it! Ack! Pttht!

Mel said...

Ok, so jello is the wobbly desserty stuff - cool. Do you ever use the word "jam" to describe a food stuff, like a bread spread or something that goes with scones and clotted cream?

All this is very edibly edifying!

dogimo said...

Of course I do, Mel! Do you want me to post my completely undeveloped draft on "jam" vs. "jelly" vs. "preserves" vs. "marmalade"? If I do, I will never work on it again and what could have been a great post will have been squandered. But I don't anyone would notice, so it's your call!

Mel said...

No, it's cool. I'm happy to wait until the finished post is set to perfection. I've waited this long to understand the difference, a little longer won't hurt. I'll be in for a treat!

Anonymous said...

I'm afraid I'm with Mel on this. JELLY is actually the stuff you call "jello" which is a silly word. But "jelly" can also be a jam that's been... I dunno...made thinner without lumps?

Yes, English IS my first language!

It's all jam to me. Except in trifle - that stuff is jelly. Mmmm trifle. Now I've forgotten the whole point.

dogimo said...

Mel my darlin', Veg my darlin', here's what I have so far:

http://consideryourasskicked.blogspot.com/2010/07/this-is-not-post-it-is-certainly-not.html

So let me add some remarks, hopefully clear up where I'm at. I'm by no means the governing body!

Grape is pretty much the only "jelly" I'd buy that I'd consider to be literally "jelly." Now I have seen strawberry jelly: all the seeds strained out, no visible fruit pieces in there - but eww! Why? For strawberry, I'd want jam. What's pictured in the above jar is jam.

Yet "jelly" still has validity and force as a wider designation for preserves and as a cultural signifier, especially insofar as peanut butter and jelly is concerned. I don't believe I've heard of anyone saying "peanut butter and jam sandwich." I'd know what they meant, but I'd edge away from them, aware that they have some weird axe to grind that I don't want to get involved in. The sandwich is peanut butter & jelly, and there's a valid cultural sense in which the fruit preserves portion of that sandwich does indeed serve in the capacity of jelly, and can be justly so identified.

While I'm at it, I don't think I can credit this "jelly"/"jello" conflation. You guys are joking right? I made a peanut butter and jello sandwich once. The two aren't remotely comparable.

dogimo said...

If it's not clear from tone, I was giggling through that whole comment.

I always think it funny when people get all needlessly precise over absurdly trivial matters! (especially when I do it - I'm like the master of that)

Mel said...

Joe, I'd like to thank you for clearing this up... but I can't because I'm more confused than ever :-D

I just googled Malibu jello shots to help my education.

dogimo said...

Well to boil it down and strain all the lumps out, I'm just saying there are two competing senses of "jelly" in use here. One is very specific, the other very generic:

As preserves go, "jelly" can be used to specify the type of preserves that is basically the set, gelled juices and essences of the fruit, with all of the seeds and lumps strained out.

However:

Within the wide world in general, "jelly" is also used to describe any fruity preserves spread (whether technically jam, jelly, or otherwise) such as you might care to put next to some peanut butter (for example).

The second sense - "jelly" as a generic for any fruit preserves - is kind of on the gauche side. Indeed a 1980's commercial for a more upscale jelly brand made much of the one rube at the genteel country manor table who said "can you please pass the jelly?" when everybody else was taking pains to give it its full brand name and patronymic. Staid matrons were fainting over that one.

The brand name escapes me, but I suspect the ad company was the same one behind the Grey Poupon.