Ever notice how every time somebody says so-and-so-they-know doesn't "respect their faith" - when you ask them what their faith is, it always turns out to be something REALLY DUMB?
I usually give the good advice at that point, such as, "Well, perhaps people would respect your faith if you switched to a more, oh say, respectable faith."
One good tip on that score is, it should be about God. People don't understand it otherwise. Mind you, worshipping nothing is fine! People totally understand and respect atheists. But if you tell people you worship some offhand thing, it's going to strike them a little weird. Like "I worship a doorknob." Sure on the one hand, at least we can grasp the purpose and nature of a doorknob! But why worship that? Not so easy to grasp.
Also as far as "God" goes, it's totally wide-open! It doesn't even matter what your conception of God is, or what attributes you ascribe - just as long as on some level: it's God. That's key. Otherwise, people won't get it. They'll think, "well...if it's not God...what are you praying for?" That's a natural response! It's not about condemnation, really, it's about comprehension.
Look, people believe in God because you can't see God anyplace, no matter how hard you look. Therefore, that's something you could pray to, and expect some results! It takes some sort of strong power (some say, infinite power) to be so stealth - especially when you are literally everyplace, constantly.
Now, when I say "God" - please recognize, the name's not important either. You can call God something funny if you want to. God'll get the idea. But it's got to be God, or something equally invisible and majestic (actually, that's still God. Nothing is equally invisible and majestic, except God). Because otherwise, it just seems real goofy calling it faith. You can't be praying to bunnies, or to trees, or to a bubbling brook and expect people to react all "Hey! I respect the heck out of that sort of deal! How respectable of you - to have so much faith! So much faith in a tree. I too have faith in the tree! In fact, there it is now, over by the babbling brook, next to the bunnies. Kind of hard not to believe in it. So...can you explain the part about praying to it though?" No, you can't. Because praying to a tree is STUPID.
Hey, let's all pretend we're atheists for a second! Some of us are (hi, folks!), so let's just pretend we're all atheists. Now in that case, praying to God would be stupid! Right? Sure. But I tell you: even in that case, praying to a tree is more stupid.
Man. Let me tell you, incense and candles are fine if the room stinks, or is dark, but it's not some big holy deal, okay? That's another thing - separate issue, though. Don't worship candles or incense! Again: it's stupid! Remember that whole thing with Israelites and the prohibition on worshipping graven images and stuff? That prohibition is for that exact same reason we're talking about: you go around worshipping inanimate objects, it's just embarrassing for everyone. You. Your family. Everyone. God, even.
It isn't that God's really jealous when God sees that stuff going on. God's just kind of vicariously ashamed. "God?" "Yes, Gabriel, what is it?" "It's the Simpkisses - it's Jess and Melissa Simpkiss, down there. They're worshipping quartz, now." "Gabriel?" "Yes God?" "What part of 'omniscient' do you not understand?" "Oh. Sorry, I...I just...yes, of course. Sorry." "I was pretending not to notice." "Yes, of course." "It's embarrassing." "Yes, of course God, sorry I brought it up!" "Peace be with you, Gabriel."
I'm telling you, even God can't respect that kind of thing. And God can respect quite a bit.
But of course, if you don't care about the respect part, then worship what you want! If you're willing to not complain when the world won't respect your faith - worship away! No one can stop you from worshipping whatever you want. That's between you and...whatever it is you happen to pick out. As long as you don't sweat the respect, then all of the above goes right out the window and you don't have to worry about any of it.
It's only when you care about people respecting your faith, that all these other sorts of concerns come in. But really, if you don't care, then you're totally free to worship your own feet if you want.
I dare you. I just dare you to found a religion upon your own feet. See how many recruits you get on that one. Nobody wants to worship your feet, pal.
It's STUPID.
I usually give the good advice at that point, such as, "Well, perhaps people would respect your faith if you switched to a more, oh say, respectable faith."
One good tip on that score is, it should be about God. People don't understand it otherwise. Mind you, worshipping nothing is fine! People totally understand and respect atheists. But if you tell people you worship some offhand thing, it's going to strike them a little weird. Like "I worship a doorknob." Sure on the one hand, at least we can grasp the purpose and nature of a doorknob! But why worship that? Not so easy to grasp.
Also as far as "God" goes, it's totally wide-open! It doesn't even matter what your conception of God is, or what attributes you ascribe - just as long as on some level: it's God. That's key. Otherwise, people won't get it. They'll think, "well...if it's not God...what are you praying for?" That's a natural response! It's not about condemnation, really, it's about comprehension.
Look, people believe in God because you can't see God anyplace, no matter how hard you look. Therefore, that's something you could pray to, and expect some results! It takes some sort of strong power (some say, infinite power) to be so stealth - especially when you are literally everyplace, constantly.
Now, when I say "God" - please recognize, the name's not important either. You can call God something funny if you want to. God'll get the idea. But it's got to be God, or something equally invisible and majestic (actually, that's still God. Nothing is equally invisible and majestic, except God). Because otherwise, it just seems real goofy calling it faith. You can't be praying to bunnies, or to trees, or to a bubbling brook and expect people to react all "Hey! I respect the heck out of that sort of deal! How respectable of you - to have so much faith! So much faith in a tree. I too have faith in the tree! In fact, there it is now, over by the babbling brook, next to the bunnies. Kind of hard not to believe in it. So...can you explain the part about praying to it though?" No, you can't. Because praying to a tree is STUPID.
Hey, let's all pretend we're atheists for a second! Some of us are (hi, folks!), so let's just pretend we're all atheists. Now in that case, praying to God would be stupid! Right? Sure. But I tell you: even in that case, praying to a tree is more stupid.
Man. Let me tell you, incense and candles are fine if the room stinks, or is dark, but it's not some big holy deal, okay? That's another thing - separate issue, though. Don't worship candles or incense! Again: it's stupid! Remember that whole thing with Israelites and the prohibition on worshipping graven images and stuff? That prohibition is for that exact same reason we're talking about: you go around worshipping inanimate objects, it's just embarrassing for everyone. You. Your family. Everyone. God, even.
It isn't that God's really jealous when God sees that stuff going on. God's just kind of vicariously ashamed. "God?" "Yes, Gabriel, what is it?" "It's the Simpkisses - it's Jess and Melissa Simpkiss, down there. They're worshipping quartz, now." "Gabriel?" "Yes God?" "What part of 'omniscient' do you not understand?" "Oh. Sorry, I...I just...yes, of course. Sorry." "I was pretending not to notice." "Yes, of course." "It's embarrassing." "Yes, of course God, sorry I brought it up!" "Peace be with you, Gabriel."
I'm telling you, even God can't respect that kind of thing. And God can respect quite a bit.
But of course, if you don't care about the respect part, then worship what you want! If you're willing to not complain when the world won't respect your faith - worship away! No one can stop you from worshipping whatever you want. That's between you and...whatever it is you happen to pick out. As long as you don't sweat the respect, then all of the above goes right out the window and you don't have to worry about any of it.
It's only when you care about people respecting your faith, that all these other sorts of concerns come in. But really, if you don't care, then you're totally free to worship your own feet if you want.
I dare you. I just dare you to found a religion upon your own feet. See how many recruits you get on that one. Nobody wants to worship your feet, pal.
It's STUPID.
Comments
Sorry. I had to.
Pearl
And then I started trying to pick logical holes in the statement...
...and then I laughed again.