Okay, so I went grocery shopping and I swear I spent like sixty or seventy bucks. And I know I took the bags in. And that was just earlier this evening, right?
And there's still no food in the house.
When I went out to get groceries, there must have been negative food in the house. It's the only explanation.
6 comments:
That. Is profound.
SWEET!!
I shot for profound!
For once, my aim is true.
This happens to me all the time. I think what happens is that I buy food that needs preparation--I stock up on ingredients, not actual fully-prepared ready-to-eat food items, and when I'm hungry an hour later I don't feel like cooking so there doesn't seem to be any food in the house.
I've taken to buying goldfish. The whole grain ones are actually quite good, and they rarely trick me into thinking it's a bag of fish-shaped crackers and then include other shapes.
I had a dream once where I bought a bag of cheddar goldfish and they had hard marshmallows in there, like sugar cereals do.
So I poured them in a bowl with milk and it was DELICIOUS.
The marshmallows were sour cream flavor.
Shit. This comment alone could have been its own blog post. See how a lavish you with the riches of my inspiration!
And then crow about it, in a kind of...off-putting manner.
Have you ever had the "S'mores Adventures" goldfish, or whatever they're called? They're chocolate graham, vanilla graham and hard marshmallows like those cereals. All goldfish shaped, of course. I thought they were an adventure in disappointment, but I also don't like hard marshmallows...but the cheddar and sour cream ones? That sounds DELICIOUS! There's a sour cream and onion flavored one that I've grown rather fond of, but they don't make the fun flavors in whole grain.
The opposite happens to me. I got about 5 or 6 bags-full of groceries a few days ago, and was unloading it onto the bench, only to discover a loaf of multigrain bread in one of the bags. I have never purchased multigrain bread in my life. Every other item I could recall placing in the trolley and onto the conveyor belt thingo, but not that bread. At first I was, like, whoa, where did you come from? that's so weird, is this some sort of spiritual loaves and fishes deal where my groceries are multiplying to feed the masses? And then I was ... probably just someone put it into my trolley thinking it was theirs. Not so amazing.
And now I have to eat multigrain bread this week :-(
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