Somebody should open up a place shaped like a pants. A great big pants. A building, in the shape of a pants, and the name of it would be "MY PANTS", and it would be run as the classiest business in town: and you could rent it out for parties.
It would be a pretty sweet setup! You could walk in the bottom at either leg, which would be very handy if there was somebody going in the other leg you hate. The pantslegs would be sort of free-standing towers really, and they don't connect 'til they get to the top - as one would expect, that's all pretty much pants-standard.
As a partygoer, you would work your way up either leg, whichever leg you prefer, through various themed party-rooms, and then when you get to the top where the two legs join, and everybody's feelin' fine, well boy that's where the party's really going on! And there's a big wide booty-shake disco-core dance-floor (the Booty Room), and a little forward to the front of that, the V.I.P. Crotch Room, and then if after all this partying you find you're wasted, you can climb another level up to The Waistband - an enclosed rooftop terrace where you can just sprawl around on the divans looking up at the stars or (if it's a stormy night) watching the pounding rain make lightning-lit patterns through the retractable latticework storm ceiling until you either recover or crash. There's a band up there playing, but it's like "chill-out" music.
And then when you invite anybody to "a party in MY PANTS" they would be all omigod omigod yes definitely I always wanted to go there!
It would be pretty exclusive, pretty hard to get into.
7 comments:
And if it really got going the papers could run with the headline 'MY PANTS TAKE OFF'. Or 'MY PANTS RIDING HIGH'.
*Wonders*... what sort of event would you have at the back of 'My Pants'?
Others might say, 'that idea is total pants'.
At the back of the top, that's the Booty Room. Big dance floor!
This would totally take off. I just need somebody to load in the front-end funds, design and execute the building, hire the staff and handle the marketing and bookings, manage it on the day-to-day and (basically) my responsibility would be to take a fat rake of the back end.
We idea men get a pretty good deal in life, if anybody ever bites.
I would go to this club, if I were the clubbing type. I like the idea of there being lots of different themes of floors so I could find one that I liked.
Mostly I just felt the need to comment to say that you wrote "omigod" and it took me a second to realize that you weren't just writing Dogimo backwards. I mean, you were, but that it means something that way.
Hmmmmm. Yeah, I guess I myself don't say "omigod" much, but I think when I'm quoting someone else's hypothetical mental state, that's when it might creep in.
It would finally be legit to yell "THERE's A PARTY IN MY PANTS! THERE'S A PARTY IN MY PANTS!" without getting arrested!
You poor Canadians!! We Americans can yell that all we want. It's called the First Amendment.
"For Congress shall make no law abridging or otherwise restricting the Right of the People to Freedom of Pants."
THAT is what I salute, when I roll out of bed in the morning! Ah, those sweet penumbras and emanations of our rights and freedoms. God bless a miracle! Let's all - man and woman, America and Canada alike! - drink thoroughly of the headiest draughts that lie in the deep dregs of freedom's cup!
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