Do You Feel Lucky?

(and feel free to comment! My older posts are certainly no less relevant to the burning concerns of the day.)

Saturday, October 09, 2010

What Happens to Dead People's Facebook Pages?

Do they just stick how they were?

I think it would be cool if the Facebook Corporation created a separate type of page for this. For if you die. Currently they have regular people pages, who you "Friend", and famous people (or organization) pages, who you "Fan." For dead people, it should switch over to something else. Something pithy, that gives the right sense of the relationship, for those left behind, or for those touched by one who has passed on.

How it would work is, before you die, you would designate one friend to "curate" your page, in the event of your death. Then when you die all your Friends automatically become "Mourners" for a period of time, until that person elects to switch from "Mourner" to "Fond Rememberer." Or something. Of course you would have some people who would remain listed as "Mourner" for way too long after the fact. The community of the bereaved could then come together: "Come on. You've got to move on. You can't mourn forever. You've got to live life. It's what [he or she] would want!"

The curator could review new incoming requests from people who wish to show their devotion, by becoming "Fond Rememberers" for that person. New requests should not even get the "Mourner" option. Where were they, when things were worst? Or if the person in question didn't have a Facebook page, a curator could still set one up in their memory, if they died recently. This would have to be for people who died recently. People who died before Facebook was even invented - it's kind of insulting try to shoehorn them in way after the fact.

If they're dead and famous of course, they can just get a Fan Page, like Elvis Presley or anybody else dead and famous! That's a totally different situation.

In addition to reviewing Add requests, the curator could post up pictures into the permanent memorial photo archives, maybe post remembrances on special anniversaries, or announce get-togethers if that sort of thing is appropriate. Basically, provide a place to remember the departed and foster the connection between those left bereft.

But it would be way more than just the curator involved - a Facebook Departed page would be a place for those left behind to put up a veritable garden of their own pictures of the deceased, share stories, come together first in grief and then later, in gratitude. Gratitude for having known someone, someone who touched so many lives. 533 lives, to be precise. And counting!

This is a grand idea. A lovely sort of idea. I give it to you for free, Facebook, so that together we can proceed in the making of a better world.

8 comments:

dogimo said...

Dang. They do this already!

But sans many of the bells and whistles I've outlined here! They call it "memorializing" a profile. It's really a very much more bare-bones service compared to what they could offer.

Oh, well! C'est la vie.

Dr. Cynicism said...

Haha! This is brilliant! Each follower could go through the 7 phases of grief in FB style! Nice site by the way!

dogimo said...

Thanks Dr. C!

I have to ask, that beaker of yours - just what is it half-full of?

snortingmarmots said...

Okay, odd digression here, but that makes me wonder: what is your beaker half-EMPTY of?

See, the optimist is just right out there, for everyone to see. "My glass? Half full. Can't you see? Here, have a sip - good stuff, ain't it?"

But the pessimist (or those with advanced degrees who have become cynicists, because lets face it, any average Joe can be a pessimist; it takes a certain level of experience and perception to be cynical) is far more flexible. They create their own hell.

"My glass? It's got some water, but it's half empty of more water and flavored powder. Yup, no lemonade for me."

"There's enough room in this Mr. Pibb for 3 kilograms of Uranium-235. Guess I won't be finishing Little Boy tonight!"

dogimo said...

It's half-empty of air, I'd say.

But yes, you twist the jist precisely, sir. I was musing that optimism and pessimism need not be quantified in terms of fluid measurement alone, but also in terms of their judgments towards the fluid itself.

I've got a Thought Of The Day on that, ready to go in fact (expect it to materialize some time in the next ten months):

"My personal attitude is, the glass is half-empty. But that's a good thing because it's urine in there."

dogimo said...

@Dr. C - the previous is neither a guess nor an assessment as to the actual contents of your container, I assure you!

dogimo said...

I can't get over how flip this seems to me now. I remembered it as a lovely idea and a respectful one, here it seems like I'm just using the unpleasant facts of mortality to make fun of Facebook. I'm sorry! Anyway. I think there are some good ideas in there, maybe not the whole structured setup. But I think

1- the person's Wall proper should end with an in memoriam, which could just say "In memoriam, Joan Shomdrey. d. June 12th, 2011". What was below the in memoriam would be the life wall, and that would be all she wrote on that. It would remain as it was so that if people wanted to, they could revisit the person's life and read the marks and see the images they chose to put up (or those made by others that they chose to leave up), that they left behind.
2- a separate Tribute wall, clickable from the sidebar like a separate tab, but don't call it Tribute. Call it "In Memory." A separate wall, sort of. The wall that goes on, for those of us who must go on. People could say hi to the community of those people who loved that person, that community who that person, essentially, formed. Just to say hi to those who loved and lost, or to post a remembrance, or a miss-you. Or to put out there a get-together, or whatever!
3- ANYBODY should be able to start up, post on, or join a tribute page. In fact, wait. I don't know how Facebook governs this but I think they kind of do have a death policy. A tribute page should just be created, automatically, to start the In Memory wall - and the life wall should be respectfully closed. But I also think that if somebody dies, unless the departed specifically designated a curator to Facebook, beforehand (and there would be a simple form for this, a click-send and an agree from the nominee), nobody should get approval to add friends, change the privacy settings set originally by the person, or delete material from the life wall. If the departed didn't do so, then it was something they left up. If the departed didn't nominate a curator for their facebook page, then maybe they had the right idea - that facebook is not such a big deal. I don't care: Spouse. Parent. Child. Anyone. Nobody should have automatic right to step in and edit what that person chose to put up or leave up. Besides, too many times I have seen somebody's next of kin have within them people who hate each other and use any petty means grievously.

dogimo said...

I can't get over how flip this seems to me now. I remembered it as a lovely idea and a respectful one, here it seems like I'm just using the unpleasant facts of mortality to make fun of Facebook. I'm sorry! Anyway. I think there are some good ideas in there, maybe not the whole structured setup. But I think

1- the person's Wall proper should end with an in memoriam, which could just say "In memoriam, Joan Shomdrey. d. June 12th, 2011". What was below the in memoriam would be the life wall, and that would be all she wrote on that. It would remain as it was so that if people wanted to, they could revisit the person's life and read the marks and see the images they chose to put up (or those made by others that they chose to leave up), that they left behind.

2- a separate Tribute wall, clickable from the sidebar like a separate tab, but don't call it Tribute. Call it "In Memory." A separate wall, sort of. The wall that goes on, for those of us who must go on. People could say hi to the community of those people who loved that person, that community who that person, essentially, formed. Just to say hi to those who loved and lost, or to post a remembrance, or a miss-you. Or to put out there a get-together, or whatever!

3- ANYBODY should be able to start up, post on, or join a tribute page. In fact, wait. I don't know how Facebook governs this but I think they kind of do have a death policy. A tribute page should just be created, automatically, to start the In Memory wall - and the life wall should be respectfully closed. But I also think that if somebody dies, unless the departed specifically designated a curator to Facebook, beforehand (and there would be a simple form for this, a click-send and an agree from the nominee), nobody should get approval to add friends, change the privacy settings set originally by the person, or delete material from the life wall. If the departed didn't do so, then it was something they left up. If the departed didn't nominate a curator for their facebook page, then maybe they had the right idea - that facebook is not such a big deal. I don't care: Spouse. Parent. Child. Anyone. Nobody should have automatic right to step in and edit what that person chose to put up or leave up. Besides, too many times I have seen somebody's next of kin have within them people who hate each other and use any petty means grievously.

I would be perfectly happy for the Facebook corporation to implement these suggestions (or the ones in the post, in part or in whole, with no compensation to me. But I'd appreciate a little email or something to me letting me know you done it! Or even a public citation. Sweet!

The real reward would be of course, I think it would be a sweet and respectful way to set it up.

From the initial post, the concept has slightly now been changed: joiners after the death should be members only of the In Memory wall, and it should not be possible for them to see the life wall - except for whatever the deceased had set as open to all the public, or if there is a curator who has been given that responsibility to add or make public.