The Grand Canyon's so totally fucking stupid, okay? There's just so many aspects of it that are stupid, I don't even know where to start.
Okay: the Colorado River, right? That thing flows all the way down all that way, from up in the Rocky Mountains all the way down to the bay or gulf of whatever way down south. Except it doesn't dig a big stupid fucking hole all that way does it? No, it doesn't! So what's the difference where the Grand Canyon is?
I say the ground there is weak. I say we have a case of weak ground, to start with, and then some big fucking puddle comes tear-assing through there for about a billion years, carried all the dirt away with it and now we're left with this hole. Which we're supposed to celebrate.
What is there to celebrate about that? The fuckin' WEAK GROUND is cause for awe and tourism? Fuck, how about we celebrate the land both North and South of the so-called "Grand" canyon - how about we celebrate THAT? Let's praise the ground that stood its ground? That held firm? That demonstrated the true grit of our American Heritage and values? But no, instead we waste our laurels on some damn hole that basically had as its main achievement, that it wore away. Basically, we praise the fact that the dirt there couldn't hack it, and took off.
The Grand Canyon represents all that's worst about the American Landscape. I say we quit making such a big deal out of it. It's damn hole, okay?
5 comments:
Yeah, fuck weak ground. But hey, let’s hear it for the Colorado River amirite. Now there’s a cause for awe and tourism. That river didn’t give up. Nah man, it just kept flowing, even when the ground was like, “hey, you’re weak as water” it was like “I’ll show you… eventually” and then IT GOUGED THAT GROUND GOOD. Okay, admittedly, like you said, not the whole way along, but still… pretty impressive. It picked its battle and stayed with it. Saw a weakness and exploited it …the soft underbelly of its opponent, its Achilles' heel if you will. That’s fightin’ ground the dirty way.
Say what you will about that bullshit hole, Mel - the most impressive thing I ever saw in a picture of the Grand Canyon is your shoes.
ha! true that!
Just looking at it now, I tells ya... that's a doggedly determined river.
http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/716/18786833.jpg/
The Grand Canyon! Bah. It's such a fame whore.
No one ever visits the Medium-Sized Puddle, the Slight Pit, or the Relatively Unimpressive Ground Depression of Manangatang.
Australia's most famous environmental attraction: a big rock.
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