Food Judge #3: Tips On Being A Discerning Diner

I carry with me at all dinnertimes a laminated placard showing what steak looks precisely like, when cooked to each of the 7 degrees of order (including raw and burnt).

I also carry wallet-size to give out. In case the chef wants one. Or, to put it delicately, appears to need one.

Comments

kourtney said…
Ok, I know your tongue is planted firmly in cheek at the best of times, but do you really??! :o

k.

(and can I get a copy of that?)
dogimo said…
Kourtney, I will always, ALWAYS answer a "do I really" question in the comments! I would consider myself a pretty big heel if I didn't. A post is just a lark, and the bulk of mine are classed fiction, but once you are talking to actual people who are asking questions - you're either a liar or you're NOT, and I strongly prefer to be not.

Just so you know! Any time you're wondering - I will level with you straight!

Here it is not painful to admit I do not have such a placard. I WISH I DID. I WOULD BUY ONE AT RETAIL. Ideally, it would be accredited by some governing body, the World Beef Board of Restauranteurs, or some equivalent.

I would so love to have that. I'd buy the package - 10 full-sized laminated placards, plus 40 wallet-size for handouts.

I so wish.

But if I did have, yes, I would definitely send you.
kourtney said…
Hell, if I owned a restaurant, I'd include that in a side-bar on the menu so people could just point to how they wanted their steak done!

I wonder if the WBBoR would consider hiring us as official testers/tasters for such cards? It's not like they'd let a vegan or a vegitarian have that gig. (Mind you, if they're like any other governing board, they just might).
dogimo said…
Hm. I'd trust a vegan on there. I've known a lot of vegans with a good eye for color!

As long as their steak doesn't go to waste! I volunteer to sit between two vegans.
dogimo said…
I ALWAYS volunteer to sit between two vegans!

Or a vegan and a vegetarian. Or a pescetarian, as the case may well be. It's never all the same to me, as I CHOW DOWN and deal with the others' mouthsful!