Do You Feel Lucky?

(and feel free to comment! My older posts are certainly no less relevant to the burning concerns of the day.)

Friday, September 02, 2011

Ready for the BIG JEANS.

YES! I'm so psyched. I just got 3 pairs of jeans with the 36 inch waist. 36 x 32. I had been rockin' the 36ers a couple years back, then after a while I kept feeling like I needed belts. So my last batch of jeans, I slipped it down a notch to 34 x 32. Which - by the way, I have to ask: how come jeans come in 30 x 32, 31 x 32, 32 x 32 and 33 x 32, but once you hit 34, it only goes up by evens? Is my soft belly supposed to be extra malleable once it reaches that state of expansion, or what? I think prevailing jeans theory is a little off on that one. It'd be nice to have some 35s as an option.

But in any case, I'm really psyched about these 36s. I can't wait to put on these jeans. They are going to be so comfortable. I stuck with the 34s for a good long while, and they've looked great on me! There's plenty of wear left in them, but they're just a little too pinch and tickle, snugger than I like to feel. Getting up, walking around, sitting down...I don't like to be so aware of my pants. I don't like my pants to feel grabby and clingy. So possessive. It makes me feel like my pants lack confidence, and if your pants lack confidence, that's just a bad sign in general. I want my pants to feel ever-so-slightly aloof. Just for my comfort zone. And once I started backsliding to the least worn-out of my last batch of 36s, I realized I needed to pull the trigger on change. Because those old 36's are too faded now! Some of them have spots worn through in the leg-cuffs, with white threads spilling out...sure, that's fine for a lot of occasions, like a beach bonfire in the wintertime, or something, but not when I want to look sharp casual. And here's a tip about me: sharp casual is my official style.

I always buy at least 3, 4 pairs of jeans at once. Two or three of the darkest blue they have, and then one of some odd color (green, brown, black - once I even got a bright tan!). Going to get some new jeans is like a ritual renewal of the nether half of my wardrobe. And over the course of their lives, I try to balance the wear as evenly as possible between each of the blue pairs of jeans. And over time I start to note their little imperceptible differences - each pair of jeans takes on its own personality! I have to admit, I'm kind of sad to have to semi-retire these 34s, still looking sharp, still in the prime of their condition. Who knows, maybe I'll revert back to them some day down the road, in leaner times. You can't dress to fit the future. For now, I am living large off the fat of the land, I am a top omnivore in my regional ecosystem! And it's time for me to step up to the BIG PANTS.

I need that extra two inches of comfort. It puts a little glide in my swagger.

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