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(and feel free to comment! My older posts are certainly no less relevant to the burning concerns of the day.)

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Top H Reasons People Are Fucking Around Online

Top H Reasons People Are Fucking Around Online

People who are fucking around online, wasting a ton of time online doing things online, are doing so for a reason. There is some need that is not being met, and they are driven to seek a substitute or a supplement for it online. In most cases, they are doing so for one of the following Top H Reasons People Are Fucking Around Online:

H. Companionship. They lack a real heart-to-heart, soul-to-soul companion - or the companion they have in close, daily, physical-proximity life isn't meeting their needs for closeness, frequency, or proximity.

G. Socializing. Their daily/physical proximity network of friends, acquaintances, fun-time pals, hangers-on and hanger-outers is not meeting some need they have, in that "socializing" slot in the psyche (or - as seems increasingly likely from the prevalence of science-y jargon in our society - in that set of "socializing" brain receptors, in the brain itself). So they seek for it online. You could call this need "Community," too. Who cares!

F. Identity. The daily identity they put forth to others they run into does not meet some need they have, to come across some way. So they seek that online. They may experiment with different self-presentations, trying to show a different side that is hard for them to get across "IRL" ("In Real Life" - a technical/jargon term among onliners, for the non-online portion of their lives). Sometimes it is just a case of the medium, freeing them to be more free. They seek for that. They seek it online. Others (disturbingly) seek online for an identity they can use to fool others - in some cases, by playing some sick game.

E. Sex. Some aspect of their close, daily, physical-proximity "IRL" sex life doesn't measure up to what they need. So they go seeking for it. Seeking for sex, online (some call this "online sex," but research suggests that rather than a type of sexual intercourse, it in actuality some form of masturbation - customarily with a communications media assisted visual, audio, or audiovisual aid).

D. Food. Unable to find food in their daily life, they are forced to forage for food online.

C. You know what? That really about covers it. I'm not sure I can come up with "B" more of these.
B.
A.
Please note, those who go online for reason "D" may become increasingly desperate, and possibly even dangerous, over time - although they will progressively weaken until eventually, they present no threat.

Oh shoot! I forgot the most obvious one!

A. Purpose. Specifically, whether it is their "IRL" "life" or their "IRL" "job," they find themselves lacking in whatever quality would otherwise fill their time up with purpose, in a fulfilling way. In a satisfying way. They lack that. So they go online. To fuck around, basically. I mean, let's be honest. That's what we're talking about here. People fuck around online.
But they do it for a reason.

4 comments:

Caz said...

There's plenty of food online; heaps!

Surprisingly tasteless though, and results in weight loss if not balanced with IRL input.

dogimo said...

Caz! Yes! That's exactly it! The lure of online food is too strong for people, they don't realize their nutritional needs are not being met.

Mel said...

Funny how such similar acronyms - IRL and URL - can be the difference between starvation and satiation.

dogimo said...

Mel, if you flip the adjectives to correspond with the acronyms, I think you've got a proverb there.