Do You Feel Lucky?

(and feel free to comment! My older posts are certainly no less relevant to the burning concerns of the day.)

Wednesday, May 09, 2012

Ask A Question Get An Answer #4: I have a question. So, hypothetically if you had this friend, right, and she liked to buy clothes and do shopping over the internet and she had a particular site she regularly purchased from called asos.com and a package arrived from them of four skirts but she didn’t recall making the order, so she checked the date and the order was placed when she was in another city visiting a friend, so then she wondered if she’d placed the order in a moment of drunken sincerity, but she checked her asos account and no order was placed by her and then she checked her credit card statement and no money had transacted for the skirts, so clearly it was just a computer error on the part of asos.com and it's someone else's order, so my question is… It's totally okay for her to keep the skirts isn't it? More info to help you answer ... THE SKIRTS ARE IN HER SIZE.

So. This is basically the "got too much change" question, on another scale.

Also, this is a morality question, so I have to let you know: I'm totally okay fielding these type questions! But I'm only going to answer on an "if it was me" basis, and add my considerations on that basis. How I'd do it (and why) is NEVER a judgment on what anybody else does. What your friend's call should be...? I don't consider that my call. But I'm happy to field morality questions, and say what MY CALL would be, utterly without prejudice to all the things that go into the fucked-up way other people choose to live.

So.

Purely on that basis, user Mel has a (wait, "USER"?!! FUCK! SORRY MEL!) um, Reader Mel, dear friend Mel, has a friend with a problem. To wit:


I have a question.

So, hypothetically if you had this friend, right, and she liked to buy clothes and do shopping over the internet and she had a particular site she regularly purchased from called asos.com and a package arrived from them of four skirts but she didn’t recall making the order, so she checked the date and the order was placed when she was in another city visiting a friend, so then she wondered if she’d placed the order in a moment of drunken sincerity, but she checked her asos account and no order was placed by her and then she checked her credit card statement and no money had transacted for the skirts, so clearly it was just a computer error on the part of asos.com and it's someone else's order, so my question is…

It's totally okay for her to keep the skirts isn't it?

More info to help you answer ...

THE SKIRTS ARE IN HER SIZE.

First, two things are immediately apparent. #1 I misspoke. Mel's friend does not "have a problem" - and I NEVER SAID SHE DID. So, eliminating that, we're looking at two main possibilities: Mel's friend has a hypothetical problem, or Mel's hypothetical friend has a problem. If the latter, then: fuck her. I can't stand hypothetical people.

If the former, then my below answer applies right down the line, but exclusively in terms of what I would do if I were Mel's friend in the same hypothetical situation.

(The second thing immediately apparent is that "a moment of drunken sincerity" applies to this answer, right here.)

So okay. This is basically the "got too much change" question, on another scale.

What I'd do is: check the skirts out, try them on. Parade around a bit. A little fashion show, you know. And: determine what they WOULD have cost. And make an informed purchasing decision to keep one (1) or two (2) of them, if warranted at that price. Then attempt to return the other two.

If this clears up the whole thing, cool.

More likely it's going to end up that some other situation happens: maybe I am in effect, volunteering to pay for two skirts, and they give you some honesty voucher in gratitude for bringing the problem to their attention. Maybe they try to charge me for all four. At that point I stand on principle: "I didn't order skirt ONE of these. I'm willing to keep the two I chose. It's that or else you can call tag the lot - and quit sending me unordered merchandise please if this is how you treat your customer trying to help you out."

Considerations.

Face it: things are not right at asos.com. They're fucking up. If they're a valued supplier for your fashion needs, maybe it's worth giving up a freebie to keep 'em in business. If this is a fundamental problem, they can't possibly keep in business this way.

But: suppose you're really destitute, money-wise? If these free skirts are the difference between you and abject nudity, then I have to say! Well. Well well. Ok, I say send 'em back anyway girl. You need to stand on principle sometimes.

But that's just my call. You may advise your friend differently.

Tip, though: if she's asking you, then maybe it's not so clear-cut as it seems. Maybe that's your cue to find out the underlying issues? I'll leave that one to you. I know who I trust on a call like this, and it's you Mel.

Thanks for asking! Did you get your answer?

4 comments:

dogimo said...

I kind of like that ending. "Thanks for asking! Did you get your answer?"

I'm going to try to remember to tag that on for all of these.

I can't believe it took the whole title.

dogimo said...

Maybe ultimately, if you opt to go the "guilt route" - get creative? Split the skirts with her! Share the guilt.

But that's only if you go the guilt route.

Are you two the same size skirt?

Mel said...

Yes, I did get my answer!, which is to say I got your answer which was exactly why I made the query - a kind of WWJD situation.

SO THANK YOU.

I think the approach is to tell asos "you got your order wrong, yo" and hope they reward the honesty with free shit.

(Plus, on closer inspection, the skirts are quite heinous imo)

dogimo said...

PICS, MEL!!