Do You Feel Lucky?

(and feel free to comment! My older posts are certainly no less relevant to the burning concerns of the day.)

Sunday, August 12, 2012

Belated Sunday Theology God Blog Post

I am simply not getting back on track with these Sunday God Blog Theology posts. I keep meaning to! Sometimes I even try to. My aging ancient Sundays of yore are littered with half-executed unpublished drafts. Perchance to be used in the future?

The problem is, theology is SUPPOSED to be a bit thought out, and I'll be honest, I'm rusty with the process. I used to be way better at thinking and criticism than I am now (formalist criticism I mean, not the insult kind). I mean, I used enjoy the effort! But I also remember when it was not hard. You know? I don't mean it was easy, I mean it was not hard. It's hard, now; I'm so far out of practice it ain't even funny!! WHOO.

Man, I remember one time at bible study I accidentally jumped out of my chair, involuntarily, kind of, and so everybody looked at me of course. Expectantly, a sort of "pregnant pause," (perhaps mixed uncertainly with a certain unspoken, "did you have to go to the bathroom?") and so I was forced to fare forward, I fixed my stare, bit back on my umbrage a bit and critiqued (calm voice! control now, breathing easier there, big guy - tones of reasonable entreaty, not tones of reasonable fuck off and die you oligarchical monopolist pus merchant) the other guy's entire bullshit point PLUS THE BOOK OF LEVITICUS, in Marxist-Feminist Dialectical terms. And everybody totally agreed with me!

Ah, I was my hero in those days.

Afterwards when I realized what had happened, I kind of lost respect for everyone in the room, especially myself. But at the time, I think, people were just like "hey, this guy means it. HEY WAIT, HE'S RIGHT." And so I took it as my due, being arrogant. I was like, "so what if God maybe just happens to be a Marxist-Feminist?" Right? I mean, at the time it seemed plausible.

I since kind of left that idea to the side. Like maybe God was a marxist-feminist, but grew out of it. It was a phase, like, you know, incarnating as human for a foot ministry in Galilee. God's not averse to a bit of dabbling around. But if God ever did subscribe to marxist-feminism I am sure it was more from an artistic standpoint than anything. I mean, come on! Lord knows the market economy does not really respond to and move in accordance with inexorable and prophetic historical forces. As theories go, what a puke of pretty flowers! Marx, hey - I've always said, was a genius, a marketing genius. Rebranding metaphysics as economics! Creating a brand new humanist mythos - a FUNCTIONAL one, mind you! But like any mythos, sure, a bit whimsical and two big scoops of bunk in every box. Doesn't matter, it's like any religion. Marxism was the opiate of the proletariat, and a beautiful drug it was. But one cannot be a fundamentalist Marxist, one must not insist on literalism. It was all just a beautiful and poetic way to sort of...allegorize about humanity's higher drives: the blind need to unify, and the blind urge to smash.

And those are the forces that drive us on each day, drive us each to each other, and smack us away. At societal scales, they pile up pressure on a level with global tides, and can break like earthquakes and hurricanes when the crisis point turns. Thesis, antithesis and synthesis - that shit's dead-on. No joke. It was just that Marx got a little carried away, turning these natural habits of mass-scale human interaction into inexorable cosmic forces, which: bullshit. Fuck though, everybody does that on some level right?

What the everloving fuck of christ am I talking about.

Tune in next week for another Ever-Lovin' Sunday God Blog Theology Post!


Jen said...

I laughed so hard at this post.
I have sat thru many a near-unendurable Bible study.
Most of them were much worse because I was there.
(I did not laugh at the last couple lines. Make fun of Bible studies, OK. Of the Lord Jesus, and you lost me. His name deserves to be held in honor.)

dogimo said...

Glad the post itself was fun! I feel like I make bible studies better. I sure did lose the plot in this post, though! Whoo.

As to profane expletive laden kicker at the end, my apologies if I offended you. Christ (and always with a capital 'C") is and will be my judge!