Do You Feel Lucky?

(and feel free to comment! My older posts are certainly no less relevant to the burning concerns of the day.)

Sunday, January 13, 2013

Finally I Can Wear My Jeans Jacket!

I'm so happy! Finally, I can wear my jeans jacket. I got that thing almost five years ago: "Hey! I need one of these. I used to love wearing one of these! This is a key, badly-missing piece in my repertoire!" It was a nice one, too - dark blue!

But then I found I couldn't wear it. Every time I tried to, I found I couldn't. See, typically for pants I wear jeans. Even when I look real nice, often I've set it up so that the only possible note to complete the ensemble as your eyes travel down, to check me all the way out - from an often real nice (sharp-casual, or casual sharp, or dress, even - I rock a jacket) jacket of some kind, and then whatever top, and then you see those jeans - and you admit. they just hit rest of the put-together picture with the kicker it was looking for. Black jeans, frequently enough, or sometimes brown, or if I go down a size to 34 then that brings dull forest green back in range - plus those lustrously warm pale tan ones! The ones one's ex-girlfriend thought were leather? Can you imagine! Leather pants.

Ok. Fine for some I guess, if one is feeling Jon Bon jovial.

But honestly, most of the time we're talking: blue. Basic blue, lovely. As darkest blue they come. They fade later to whatever range you need, and softly! Though, honestly the almost brand new dark is my favorite.

I love wearing jeans as my pants preference! Cotton slacks, of the sturdy coarse weave known as "denim," ruggedly stitched to hold up to punishment (which is good for me, because if I may quote the Village People in their nineteen something something hit "Sleazy," "Watch me while I do my thing. I like my music loud and mean. I rock until I bust my jeans, now that's sleazy." - minus the "sleazy" part! I rock with just pure wholesome gusto - none-the-less jeans-busting in the long run, but hopefully the jeans in question are well-made, to stand up to it for some time).

Yet every time I tried to wear my jeans jacket, I was stymied. Couldn't do it! What do I wear it with - black jeans? You can't go blue, black! It looks...look, I don't put actual thought into outfits. I just pick A, pick B, pick C - "naw." Then switch B, look A, B, C..."perfect." It's gut or nothing with me, yet I've never walked out the door nude. Well, not sober anyway. Point is, I rock it and it's pure eye to gut to perfect strut. Lookin' goood, mister suspiciously-familiar! Oh hey, it's me.

So blue, black is out. Really any non match is out - for the same reasons. Yet blue, blue - that's bullshit, you can't do it. It looks like you're trying to pull off gas station attendant on false pretenses, it's pretentious. In the sense you're pretending as what you're not - or coming off that way, at least. Then even aside from that, because your jeans jacket fades at a slower rate than your far-more-frequently worn jeans, you have other problems.

I'd pretty much put that jeans jacket into a sad retirement - barely even used.

Suddenly, finally, without even realizing it - the solution just about jumped in my lap and solved itself. Tonight I realized what I'd needed all along to tie that shit together, blue with blue. It happened all by accident! I was out shopping, and spotted another key missing ingredient in my sartorial pantry, one I'd been bemoaning and bemoaning the lack of: a zip-bisected-pocket-pouch-front hoodie! I don't know why, but that extra piece of outerwear under there corrects the effect like the last checker in a winning diagonal Connect Four play. Black and with gray lining, brand emblazoned: Everlast. Sharp piece, but little did I know till I got it home: "Hmmmm....so what jacket do I wear with this...?"

Holy shit.


4 comments:

Jen said...

Ah, yes.

I distinctly remember when I first realized I needed some kinda pants BESIDES jeans in my wardrobe. Fourth year of college. Going to a conference. Realized I had no way to look dignified, besides wearing a dress, which ... come on. Wanted to be taken seriously. Couldn't do it, wearing my old jeans. Long time ago.

Your jeans are much more stylin'.

The Vegetable Assassin said...

I'm at that point Jen just described - I'm becoming "girl of many jeans" and need to round them out with something with PERSONALITY, damn it. I have some cranberry colored cords though, fairly skinny and they're flattering and nice and just...NOT ME unless I declass them with a black punky t-shirt or something and some big boots. Really I want the perfect worn in, perfect denim, perfect fade, perfect slim bootcut (without being a flare because they drown me and I'm not a goddamn hippy).

Heh. You get that perfect jean going, fella! The leather trousers, though, are more the Stranger Lido's fantasy. Black as midnight and adorned with a bullet belt and an attitude OF COURSE.

The Vegetable Assassin said...

Oh! And hell yes. I totally forgot my original comment because I read Jen's and got all animated. Jeans jackets? Pretty cool if you don't wear jeans with them, as you rightly ascertained. This was always the problem with MY jeans jacket. That's too much denim in the equation for sure. It's denim overload that could push the earth spinning off of its axis.

The equation's like..." (Jeans jacket+blue jeans=apocalypse). OR something that makes more sense than that.

Jen said...

Veggie Assassin, I've gotta know.

Do you assassinate vegetables?

Or ... are you an assassin who identifies yourself with vegetables somehow?