I'm not going to program all this shit.

WELCOME TO CONSIDER YOUR ASS KICKED!

Consider Your Ass Kicked! has moved.

Click HERE to be directed to the new domain.

Consider Your Ass Kicked! has suspended operations.

Click HERE for the archive.

The archive has been closed.

Click HERE to register for a password.

Passwords to the archive are no longer being given out.

Click HERE for an explanation why.

Consider Your Ass Kicked! is no longer maintaining a registry of accounts to access the archive. Instead we have instituted a simple, interactive test to ensure that users are not spambots or malwariors. If you would like to proceed to the test, Click HERE to proceed to the test. There will also be a brief survey.

Thank you for taking the Consider Your Ass Kicked! Customer Survey / Post Archive Access Test! The following simple questions should be answered quickly and easily, go with your first answer. No need to over-think it, there are no trick questions.
Question 1. What is your interest in Consider Your Ass Kicked? (type in the texty box)

Question 2. True or False. Which one do you prefer?

Question 3. Multiple choice. What sort of questions do you find easiest to answer? A) True or False. B) Multiple Choice. C) Essay. D) Trick questions. E) Personal questions.

Question 4. Seriously. What is your interest in Consider Your Ass Kicked? Why go through all this?

Then it would let you into the archive. But only if your answer to Question 4 matched your answer to Question 1! Otherwise, you're a fucking liar and you get redirected to the FBI.

Comments

Jen said…
1. It amuses me.
2. True.
3. Essay.
4. It has some fun, good writing.

IS IT REALLY TRUE? You are shutting down CYAK for good? No more Fiction Fridays??? Say it ain't so!
dogimo said…
Oh no! This was just an amusing sort of thing I thought up to do but it would be too much work to set up all the clicking.
JMH said…
Wow. I came here to ask you to do a guest post for my new blog (mindofjon.net), but I got shamed. Hilarious!

Anyhow, the request still stands. Will you guest post on my blog? I figured I'd ask you to do "Crossword Puzzle Clues with Joe," in which you'd give the amount of letters and the clue, but if you have a preferred variation on that theme and want to do it, I'd be greatly pleased.
dogimo said…
Are you making a crossword?

How many words and clues do you need? I'd rather give you the word and the clue, so you don't have to rely on my authority.
Mel said…
1) None presently, but if you ever launch an IPO I'd be keen to discuss becoming a silent shareholder.

2) I'm more of a "Neither agree nor disagree" kinda respondent.

3)The ones where I have the answers already discreetly written on my pencil-case lining.

4) See answer 1)
JMH said…
No, no one's making a crossword, although now that I think about it, a very simple crossword (1 across, 1 down) would be a delight.

I just wanted you to write the clues (and give the amount of letters) because they'd be so clever and maybe post one once a month.