Do You Feel Lucky?

(and feel free to comment! My older posts are certainly no less relevant to the burning concerns of the day.)

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Snippets from the Life of a Rogue Ad Copy Jockey

When life gets you down? GO GATORADE. Gatorade is like the tits on a nuclear squid. You start sucking on that glowing ambrosial nectar, suddenly it turns your whole DNA crazy like you're breathing underwater, staining your bike shorts with black ink and fighting crime. One time, I got thrown out of a top advertising firm for the boldest pitch that I ever had the balls to put over the plate. It went wild, but boy did I turn a few heads on the way out the door as I was escorted by an honor guard of security's best and brightest. When I hit the street, I had a Snickers to recoup my wits and stoke the flames a bit. Packed with peanuts, Snickers Is A Motherfucker®. Thus fortified with that sweet hit of chocolate, caramel and a peanut crunch, I eased on down the road with a heart as heavy as the sky above. It's true, I had suffered a setback. But I didn't actually work for the firm anyway, and technically they hadn't even invited me inside. So I counted it pretty light in the loss column - while each of the heads that I'd managed to turn with my bold presentation was an undeniable win.

I was sure to have better luck at the next firm. My next stop would not even know what hit it.

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