in failing confidence, i resort to overt trash-talking and worse, to all-caps - the bad-manners internet equivalent to "shouting"
WHO THINKS YOU CAN BEAT MY HOUSE!! THOSE GOD-DAMN IMBECILES ARE GOING TO RUN ROUGHSHOD OVER ALL OF YOU AND I'M THE BIGGEST ONE IN THE BUNCH!!!! IT'S LIKE A BANANA OR SOMETHING - THERE'S ALWAYS ONE FREAKY ONE WHOSE ALL WEIRD HOW HE BENDS, AND SLIGHTLY LARGER! WELL GUESS WHAT PEOPLE - I JUST CRACKED THE STEM AND I'M A-PEELIN'! YOU BETTER NOT WAIT AROUND TO SEE WHAT THE UH...THE BANANA IS...
...AWWW MAN IT'S ALL ROTTEN ON THE INSIDE.
THAT'S RIGHT! I'M ROTTEN TO THE CORE! THIS BANANA'S GOT A CORE SO BLACK AND SQUISHY YOU DON'T EVEN WANT TO SALVAGE IT, THROW IT IN A BLENDER WITH THE OTHER BAD BANANAS AND SOME WHOLE MILK, AND VANILLA EXTRACT LIKE MOM USED TO, WHEN IT WAS "BANANAS GONE BAD!" WELL HELL NO THIS BANANA (THE BANANA IS WHAT REPRESENTS ME, IN THIS RANT) IS WAY TOO BAD EVEN FOR THAT PURPOSE! WHY, YOU DRINK IN THAT THICK, FROTHY SHAKE AND YOU'LL TURN SICK COLORS IN A SECOND! I'M AFTER YOU, YOU ILL-ADVISED OTHERS! I'M COMING AFTER YOU LIKE A BAD CASE OF GARBAGE! I GOT A CASE OF THE TRASH AND I'MA PUT IT ON YOU! I GOT LIKE A BIG CASE OF IT, NO BAG NO LINER - JUST UPENDED THAT BIG OL' GARBAGE CASE ALL OVER YOUR HEAD AND CLEAN SHIRT, LIKE A BULLY IN JUNIOR MIDDLE SCHOOL TURNING YOU INTO A BIG DISPLAY OF HUMILIATION, BEFORE ESCORTING YOU TO THE TOILET BOWL WITH A BIG THING OF JOHNSON & JOHNSON'S "NO MORE TEARS" (THAT FUCKING IRONIC BASTARD!!!!) TO GIVE YOU A NICE "IN-LOO SHAMPOO"!! YOU GOD DAMN RIGHT I DID! WHOSE NEXT? WHOSE NEXT?
YEAAAAAHHH
COME ON
...AWWW MAN IT'S ALL ROTTEN ON THE INSIDE.
THAT'S RIGHT! I'M ROTTEN TO THE CORE! THIS BANANA'S GOT A CORE SO BLACK AND SQUISHY YOU DON'T EVEN WANT TO SALVAGE IT, THROW IT IN A BLENDER WITH THE OTHER BAD BANANAS AND SOME WHOLE MILK, AND VANILLA EXTRACT LIKE MOM USED TO, WHEN IT WAS "BANANAS GONE BAD!" WELL HELL NO THIS BANANA (THE BANANA IS WHAT REPRESENTS ME, IN THIS RANT) IS WAY TOO BAD EVEN FOR THAT PURPOSE! WHY, YOU DRINK IN THAT THICK, FROTHY SHAKE AND YOU'LL TURN SICK COLORS IN A SECOND! I'M AFTER YOU, YOU ILL-ADVISED OTHERS! I'M COMING AFTER YOU LIKE A BAD CASE OF GARBAGE! I GOT A CASE OF THE TRASH AND I'MA PUT IT ON YOU! I GOT LIKE A BIG CASE OF IT, NO BAG NO LINER - JUST UPENDED THAT BIG OL' GARBAGE CASE ALL OVER YOUR HEAD AND CLEAN SHIRT, LIKE A BULLY IN JUNIOR MIDDLE SCHOOL TURNING YOU INTO A BIG DISPLAY OF HUMILIATION, BEFORE ESCORTING YOU TO THE TOILET BOWL WITH A BIG THING OF JOHNSON & JOHNSON'S "NO MORE TEARS" (THAT FUCKING IRONIC BASTARD!!!!) TO GIVE YOU A NICE "IN-LOO SHAMPOO"!! YOU GOD DAMN RIGHT I DID! WHOSE NEXT? WHOSE NEXT?
YEAAAAAHHH
COME ON
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