Do You Feel Lucky?

(and feel free to comment! My older posts are certainly no less relevant to the burning concerns of the day.)

Tuesday, May 07, 2013

On Waitresses.

Whenever someone talks about tipping the waitress or the waiter, I always picture running up to them in a field and pushing them over. Now, I'm not sure why this is the dominant image. I've never once in my life tipped any form of livestock! People who tip cows should be forced to tip bulls instead, if you ask me. Jerks!

I love the word "waitresses." I just love that word itself! Waitresses. It's such a good word. The plural is so euphonious! Waitresses. Also, it's a fantasy of mine to have more than one waitress. At the same time, I mean! Not one of those deals where one leaves and another takes over. That seems so impersonal by comparison.

I mean, I guess it's okay if there's a dude in the mix too. A waiter. I suppose that's still a luxurious amount of pampering, service-wise. But a pity, too, because then I won't be able to use the plural! That oh-so-euphonious plural. Waitresses.

The words you use to describe it can be such an important part of your life experience. "Servers" is also a fine word! A solid, unisex term: servers. I often mentally apply the term to cops. Servers, and protectors. Unlike the more one-dimensional service you get from your waiters and waitresses!

Hot tip: do not attempt to tip your cop. Not under any circumstances is that going to work out well. I hear that in Mexico it's OK! But if so, that's totally out of my experience - different culture. As a rule, "When in Rome" applies.

1 comment:

Chicken Maker said...

Was out to lunch with some exchange students. Was thrown off by foreigners not giving tips at restaurants. I mean, I suppose they don't even think about it.