Do You Feel Lucky?

(and feel free to comment! My older posts are certainly no less relevant to the burning concerns of the day.)

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Weighing on me.

I hate how big I am at the moment. I carry it well, but it's not comfortable. The spring in my step is measurably diminished. The world hits back when I step on it. It's gravity, man. My rise in mass has made me subject to impacts of a greater degree than I'd find ideal. I remember stepping lithely and blithely through the world. Worst part is, I still do so but now there is effort, and pressure on the joints. It is only a matter of time

I need to get down to about 185.

When I renewed my driver's license in April, she asked me (typing in the fields, validating data) "Are you still 170?" I was very happy to hear it!

She believed 170 was an askable question, and a believable answer. My heart leapt within me to hear it, and I believed it was so! Or at least, that it could be so. So I answered "yes," without hesitation, much.

There wasn't anything else I could answer. I haven't weighed myself in ages. What could I have offered in contradiction? The DMV doesn't truck with this sort of exchange:

She: "Are you still 170?"
Me: "Who gives a fuck. Seriously."

In any event, having committed to 170 I felt honor-bound to find out where I stood: on a scale. 209. Wow.

I don't fault myself for confirming the inaccurate figure. As I said, I had nothing to offer in correction. 170 at least was something I have weighed, and something I believe I conceivably could weigh. Me making up other numbers out of whole cloth would have helped neither my cause nor the DMVs, and this poor woman was just doing her job and possibly, trying not to laugh. She kept a very straight face, though. I believe her belief in my answer's truth was as basic as my own hope in its possibility.

But it doesn't matter. I stepped up and confirmed to 170. I feel somewhat honor-bound to make my driver's license true. As I have so many other government-issued documents. It's up to me to step up to what I attest as true.

185 comes first though. I bet at 185, I'll be much relieved, very much more comfortable in how I move through the world. My grace and ease will return, my currently encumbered bounce will come bounding back to its previous jive ass EFFORTLESS FUNK STRUT.

That's all I've got on that score.

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