Do You Feel Lucky?

(and feel free to comment! My older posts are certainly no less relevant to the burning concerns of the day.)

Saturday, June 08, 2013

Ah, Saturday! How To Relax #5: The Impossible

To relax, I do the impossible. I don't mean like, amazing things. These aren't even useful things, really. More just things that make no sense in a "rational universe" setting. They're impossible, because they can't even possibly have happened. It's a subtle cause-effect, but I work it for what it's worth! And it can be very relaxing. That delicious frisson between what you just did and the fact that you couldn't even have!

For example, I go to the grocery store to buy blood. I pay in sweat, and they give me back piss change. I drop that in the salvation army tin bin outside, and climb into what appears to be a helicopter. But it isn't - it's a bicycle! I'm off in a whoosh, spinning over the rooftops hit by a hard-charging bus. Flung into and through the air. It is incredibly relaxing. As the impact caroms off my back, shingles fly in all directions, I'm arcing out soft and down hard from the roof to land comfortably across the raw, gravelly asphalt of my own sweet driveway.

Then I get up and I crane my spine-shocked neck to look down around and over myself. My left arm, ruined elbow; my shoulder and all down my back (largely visible now, through the gaping rents in my suddenly heavily-customized t-shirt). That's when I realize I never needed to go to the store to buy blood at all!

It was always there. Just waiting to come out.

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