Friday, June 14, 2013
This Blog Has Been Writing Practice.
"This blog is writing practice."
How many times have I said that? Quite a few, quite a few.
You know what? I don't think it worked.
No, I'm kidding - it totally worked! I was just thinking back, looking at myself now versus when I started. Now, I'd like to think I could write pretty well to begin with! I'm not sure if my top-level quality has improved - in terms of how high is the highest mark I can reach. I'm as streaky and unevenly brilliant and stupid and groan-inducing as ever. My lows are certainly no lower than they ever were. But the highs still come pretty regularly, I think - and by "highs," I mean just when I can look back on a thing months later and say, "I'm really happy with this."
But what's the improvement, then? If the quality is about the same across the board, what has improved with practice? Well, the thing is: writing has gotten so much easier. Writing poetry in particular - and I defy anyone to claim my quality has declined with increased volume, poem-wise! But it isn't just poetry. Writing in general is so much easier. I believe it is from the conscious focus on the nuts, bolts, strategies and styles of writing that this blog has provided. The constant dumping of random ideas or cut/pastes from other sources into drafts for later elaboration. The constant going back through and honing, honing. The final selection and scheduling of finished posts to autopost on future dates. Like I said: quality hasn't measurably improved, but the constant working at working at it, over the past few years, has made writing easier for me.
I think in complete paragraphs now. It's like weird.
And then there are the unexpected bonuses. My psycho stalker, sure! But even above and beyond that, there have been a lot of real human beings coming out of nowhere, basically, out of the digital woodwork, to take the time to read - and sometimes, comment on a post. Sometimes with something goofy, playing off the goofiness of a post, other times with a thoughtful question. Sometimes with just a kind word of praise. I can't tell any of you how much it means to me, but it has meant a lot. And not one bit of it was something I expected. I never expected anyone to read or comment, really. Because my blog has always been pretty much about nothing. A self-indulgent enterprise.
So you have flattered me terribly with your interest, and I thank you for it. I have been more than just flattered, I've been touched - by so many of you who have looked past the seeming random array of nonesense I've thrown against this wall, and seen underneath it all to whatever corner of my heart or my mind or my soul I was speaking from. You've been kind enough to join me there, walk beside me in my silly walk, or call me on my bullshit, or dance with me in my dark and mysterious gropings with the ineffable, pretty much all in equal measure as time has gone by.
This Blog Was Writing Practice.
Thanks for making it more than just that.
Consider Your Ass Kicked.