So you know what? After the other four parts of this "Ripped off from the headlines" in-depth series of articles (further down the page, or click the 'headlines' tag), I ended up clicking on the actual to see what it was really about, and guess what?
They were just being jerks! It was supposed to be clever. The "unthinkable" thing she'd supposedly done was to wear a decent bikini. Meaning, a bikini designed with decency in mind, rather than indecency. That was the "unthinkable" thing.
Well, I sure showed them where they could have taken the story, had their journalism hit remotely so hard as mine, or been anywhere near so uncompromising.