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(and feel free to comment! My older posts are certainly no less relevant to the burning concerns of the day.)

Thursday, June 11, 2015

Martial Arts Mastery #2: Tai Chi Do (Full Contact Tai Chi) REVISED: It's "Taichido" Damn It. CORRECTION: "Tie-Chee'Doe" or "Ti-Chee'Do" - either one works, really.

So yeah.

I did have one girlfriend who was into kung fu in some sense - we created a martial art together, albeit I wouldn't say we "mastered" it, we did claim the honors: I the Master of Tai Chi Do, she the Mistress naturally. As a staunch feminist she'd occasionally embrace, occasionally reject the gendered construction of the title - and so if she claimed "Master," we'd have to FIGHT FOR IT.

Tai Chi Do is a slow-motion martial art which emphasizes form, deft touch, and grace of motion above all - but with a strong emphasis on grappling and holds as well, and a powerful focus on the buttocks. The arm/leg strikes and blocks, speaking very generally, are direct lifts ripped off from Tai Chi itself, but each Tai Chi Do practitioner is sure to incorporate inspirations from various other forms. All as the practitioner deems fit and useful, in the decisive moment of honorable combat.

It was originally conceived as "Full Contact Tai Chi," and evolved from there. Both Full Contact Tai Chi and Tai Chi Do are wholly-owned with all rights reserved unto the Master and Mistress of Tai Chi Do.

Tai Chi Do should only be performed in a dojo-grade fighting space and only under the supervision of a qualified instructor. As with any style of Martial Art that is either traditional, or rooted-in-traditional-forms, Tai Chi Do is useless for physical defense on the street and will almost certainly represent a greater danger to the practitioner attempting to mispurpose it in such a way than it will to the prospective opponent.

***UPDATED FOR IMPORTANT CLARIFICATION: Having Goolged it, looks like somebody may already have come up with what they have termed "Full Contact Tai Chi," some great many years if not centuries ago. Therefore it incumbs upon me to clarify.

The art of Taichido, all one word, a wholly-original and proprietary martial art with some passing spiritual kinship and inspiration from the age old public domain folk tradition of "Tai Chi," incorporates a host of original strategies, forms and techniques with the best of traditional kung fu in a unique and cohesive, wholly-original martial art form. Taichido is designed to be practiced for fitness, as a trust-building trick exercise, and also purely for amusement.

You may take it from me that there can be no purer amusement than that which one gains from standing over one's crumpled and moaning opponent!

a final update. hopefully

Tiecheedoe.

It's TIECHEEDOE.

Also TIE-CHEE'DOE, Tie-Chee'Doe, TiCheeDo, Ticheedo and every variant of the words "tiecheedoe" or "ticheedo"; whether with or without interstitial punctuation, and notwithstanding the likely misuse of the word "interstitial," there.

"Sorry"

MAN.

Who fucking knew martial arts mastery would be such a pain in the ass?

For my next installment, Martial Arts Mastery #2, expect me to do any requisite trademark searches first.

1 comment:

dogimo said...

Oh, for fuck's sake.

THE POINT IS: there's already something they're calling "taichido." IT'S NOT THE REAL THING, PEOPLE! Or put it better, I'll come up with a better name than theirs and then they can go suck it.

The martial art described in this article is original, proprietary, and probably spelled TIE-CHEE'DOE okay? OKAY?

Jeez! These wily Asians are fucking serious about their martial arts trademark squatting aren't they?

SQUATTERS!