Do You Feel Lucky?

(and feel free to comment! My older posts are certainly no less relevant to the burning concerns of the day.)

Tuesday, September 15, 2015

Open Dream Journal #82 / Killer Screenplay Pitch Idea #12

I have no idea if those are the actual correct numbers, but probably close. 82, 12? Anyway, I tend to publish both series out of chronological order so what's the difference! Close enough.

So, I had an amazing dream.

I was watching television, and a commercial came on for a new movie coming out. It was called Sousa. You guessed it: it's about John Philip Sousa, starring Jack Black. It's not a comedy! It's a sci-fi thriller, kind of. You see, John Philip Sousa, in his tinkering and experimentation trying to develop the Sousaphone, accidentally travels back in time to the seventeen-somethings, and wouldn't you know it, he and Beethoven end up having a duel and Beethoven dies. But it's not John Philip Sousa's fault! Also, the whole thing's in English, otherwise - can of worms.

Point is, everybody pretty much agrees that it was a straight-up normal duel, and that this was just how we handle things back now, here in the present day of the seventeen-somethings. So nobody's trying to make out the hero as the villain, is what I'm saying.

But then, the dramatic crux looms into view as we find out - it was right about when Beethoven was planning to do his big debut of the Beethoven's Fifth, which as you may have heard, caused a riot! And if the show doesn't go on, the theater will lose its lease. Naturally, big-hearted John Philip Sousa steps up to fill the breach. He bewigs and becoats himself to look the part, and impersonates Beethoven - performing not Beethoven's Fifth (which nobody had heard of anyway really, at that point) but a souped-up killer medley of his own marches. This ends up causing an even bigger riot, and changes the whole course of human history from then on out, classical-music-wise. Because when they unmask the charade, and people are like "holy shit! It's John Philip Sousa!" - who at that point would have been known mostly for the duel, but now it's clear that he stepped in and saved the day.

Then the denouement would come in and it would be clear that as far as people were concerned, John Philip Sousa was an utter fucking genius and if he'd really lived in those days he'd be revered much more than he is now. I mean can you imagine, going to the symphony hall, sitting down to what you think is going to be some "DUH DUH DUH DUMMMMMMMM" and instead you get the Monty Python Theme? And then it effortlessly segues into one of the others, and it just keeps going 'til you lose your MIND, about.

Point is, this would be perfect for Jack Black. He could play it straight down the line.

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