Do You Feel Lucky?

(and feel free to comment! My older posts are certainly no less relevant to the burning concerns of the day.)

Friday, May 06, 2016

Tight Pants PSA Campaign Pitch

"Hi, I'm film and television actor Bradley Cooper. You know, tight pants aren't just unsightly and uncomfortable. They are proven to lower sperm counts, and could even be a link to increased risk of testicular cancer. DON'T BE A DICK TO YOUR BALLS."

There are a couple potential problems with this pitch, but I think if we can get Bradley Cooper those problems go away pretty much. It'd be a short, punchy spot. Get in, get to the catchphrase, get out. Arguably Bradley Cooper's not the best pick for this, as he's been quite a tight pants wearer himself, but in my belief it's always been in the service of the role. Anyway, a converted former offender can be a convincing pitchman.

People might object that the testicular cancer link isn't established or supported by anything in the research. This is probably true, but I needed two medical-sounding things. Besides, I softened it quite a bit with that "and could even be a link" bit. Nobody's saying any link has been proved. But if we can get these poor tight-pants culture victims to loosen up a bit and look less ridiculous, the ends justify the means to some extent do they not?

Really I just wanted a reason for the "Don't be a dick to your balls" slogan. That could easily catch on.


Mel said...

If Bradley Cooper's agent won't let him take the gig, then I think there's a good chance of getting Ryan Gosling.

Ryan Gosling's Suit is Too Tight

dogimo said...

Hm. Well, I was more going with Bradley Cooper because I think he can bring the gravitas needed. He seems like a pretty good sport, but he can sell it as an issue on which we need to spread the message. Or a message on which we need to spread the issue.

Messages, issues, problems, concerns, crises, conflicts - the challenge is to identify the opportunities that obscure the real obstacles and prevent us from coming to grips with the something-or-other! That's where Bradley Cooper can help, I think. He gets that sad, knowing look of clarity - of having only just finally understood how things could have gone, and a certain resignation that says "Well, oh well!" Because often by that point in the movie, maybe there's nothing to be done except make the best of what's left after chance has gone.

Except here, with the pants thing, he can do something about it! I think he'd want to step up to that. He's the perfect spokesman I'd say.

Gosling's likeable, but he doesn't really have the same ability to sell the message. Gravitas.