Do You Feel Lucky?

(and feel free to comment! My older posts are certainly no less relevant to the burning concerns of the day.)

Thursday, December 29, 2016

Personality Test Results: I am EFNJ!

Sometimes it's eerie how close these tests can get it.

The Paragon of Awesomeness

As an EFNJ, your primary mode of living is cosmic in scope, where you respect your central position in the universe, and consider it an honor and your responsibility to keep it revolving around you in an orderly fashion. Your secondary mode is to help everyone else adjust to reality by making sure they are all clear on that same idea.

EFNJs, more than any other personality type, pretty much rule. They swoop through life putting everyone at ease with a lot of minor adjustments. They distract others from the grueling despair and emotional turmoil of day to day existence, just by being so incredibly sexy. Female EFNJs have eyes set on "stun" and a body that just won't quit. A male EFNJ's penis is very large, however, he will always humbly protest that it is "well within the statistical range for what's possible in a human."

EFNJs pretty much know what you want to hear, but they're not going to tell you what you want to hear just because they know what you want to hear. They respect you too much for that. The main goal for an EFNJ is to either make you understand how truly unique and wonderful you are, or "call you on your bullshit," depending on the particulars of the situation.

EFNJs are great listeners. An EFNJ will just listen the crap out of whatever it is you're saying. They'll keep listening, and listening, and listening until every drop of gushing feeling and every pulped juicy bit of meaning has been been flushed from your mouth, and sluiced directly into their ears. Then they'll ask careful questions that show they have grasped the key aspects and distinctions involved in whatever it was you were saying. As they respond with their insightful feedback, you'll feel yourself becoming increasingly sexually aroused - but this is not the EFNJ's intent. You'll also feel a growing appreciation and wonder for humanity itself, as embodied in this person with their easy rapport and their way of supporting and uplifting the sense you make - that's what we were after.

An EFNJ, if he or she is honest, will admit he or she kind of does enjoy a bit of conflict, now and then. Not necessarily that they enjoy a fight or an argument. More that they relish the unnecessary chance to show off how good they are at fighting and/or arguing. The EFNJ is not proud of this, but it is what it is.

EFNJs know what's right in any situation, but will refuse to tell you. That would strike the EFNJ as being needlessly judgmental.

Housekeeping can be a challenge for some EFNJs, since they often don't notice the mundane details such as a sink full of dirty dishes for weeks on end. In terms of personal hygiene, however, EFNJs smell fantastic and their hair looks great. How all of that is accomplished is none of your god-damn business.

EFNJs tend to be the most reasonable of all personality types, the most feeling, the most thrillingly creative in the arts, the most truly loving and loyal, the most skilled and empathic sexual performers (to say nothing of their nigh-godlike stamina when tact justifies and the situation calls for it), the rightest in matters of "common sense," and also almost preternaturally gifted in terms of grasping the most esoteric concepts of theoretical physics, for instance. Where they fail, though, is math. EFNJs suck at math.

EFNJs have an especially clear perception and keen appreciation of their faults. So far, that boils down to pretty much just the math thing. Zoroaster, Siddhartha Guatama, Chuck Norris, Jesus Christ and Teddy Roosevelt are some famous historical figures who would all readily admit to being inferior to an EFNJ.

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