Do You Feel Lucky?

(and feel free to comment! My older posts are certainly no less relevant to the burning concerns of the day.)

Wednesday, January 25, 2017

Getting to Know Me #2: What Fictional Character Am I, Anyway?

In Muppet terms, I am a Skeeter.

Correction: his name is Scooter.

Actually I'm not him. I'm a Beeker. I spell mine with two e's, though - he apparently goes with an e and an a.

Skeeter was a mistake, there, sorry - different but wrong Muppet character. For some reason I thought that dude's name WAS Skeeter. If it had been, I might not have switched to Beeker! In some real sense, I'm definitely a Skeeter. There's an awful lot of Skeeter in me, but not the way that thusly-named character portrays it.

By the way, do you know I've never once considered the question "Which Muppet Are You?" WAIT! I DID, except on the particular internet poll, options were limited to Sesame Street Muppets. (Where yes, I am indeed Snuffleupagus - and I know how to spell it, and I am not at all offended by the supposed revisionism of Mr. Snuffleupagus now being acknowledged as real by all the neighborhood. He was ALWAYS real, he just had a slow-speed shuffle-off-to-the-side while Bird's distracted by something else - a Batman move he'd perfected on his own. Anyone else could have seen him at any time, except he didn't care to hang around to be seen.)

Close second: Guy Smiley, but the point is, boy was I surprised to find how hard it was to pick my Expanded Universe/Muppet Show Muppet! I can't believe I never consciously singled out any one of those guys to identify with. What a great cast of characters, and maybe that's the problem - too many ring true to different parts of you for you to identify too strongly with any only one!

In all the other classic "pantheon of fictional beings" Who-Are-Yous, though, I pretty much know and have it locked in. I am Linus in terms of Peanuts (with Woodstock in my moon sign), Batman in terms of Superfriends (SUPERFRIENDS ONLY), Captain Marvel ("SHAZAM!!!") in terms of post-Crisis, pre-52 DC continuity, Colossus in terms of Marvel, Captain America in terms of MCU (where there are, thank God, no goddamn "X-Men" cluttering up the place with their idiotic and insulting superpowers-based Civil Rights parable - that universe, the X-Verse, DESPERATELY NEEDS to be set in a world where no one is metahuman EXCEPT for mutants, in order for its conceit to ring remotely plausible! THOR WOULD BE HATED AND FEARED, in any world where people reacted to "mutants" so poorly!

Even speaking canonically, Thor IS a mutant, if the X-Men conception of "mutant" exists. Thor was born that way, for gods' sakes. No pun intended, attempted or accomplished.)

AND DON'T TELL ME HE CAN'T BE A MUTANT BECAUSE HE'S NOT OF OUR SPECIES. The Greek gods can interbreed with us. They pass the conspeciality test with flying colors. You telling me the Norse gods CAN'T? GROW UP.

In terms of Star Wars, I'm clearly Jiangjuan Ki. I just made her up. She's of the mysterious "Grey Sith" - they use the Dark Side (including all its emotions and the power they tap and leash) for objectively altruistic purposes, although they're also very heartless about it. Very "Greater Good," very "preserve the balance."

In Star Trek terms, I am Kirk. Didn't used to be. I used to test pretty strongly as SPOCK, if you can believe it! Now it's all coming up Kirk. Maybe that's just the world we live in, forcing me to Kirk up or Kirk out, or most likely and efficaciously, both. Close second: MOTHER FUCKEN CHEKOV

"Getting to knowwww, meee-e-e-e...!"

In Scooby Doo terms I'm Velma. I'd totally scooby dooby do me.

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