Do You Feel Lucky?

(and feel free to comment! My older posts are certainly no less relevant to the burning concerns of the day.)

Wednesday, January 25, 2017

Seduction Techniques #3: The "Works For Me" Method

1. Wait til' they beg.

2. Listen carefully. Very carefully.

3. Consider their needs and wishes, and determine whether they'd be likely to entail any negative, long-term bad results of the emotional (or fuck, spiritual if you swing that high) well-being of any parties concerned. We both know what the immediate upsides are likely to be, hey? 'Nough said on that score. But don't skip straight to that, over step three. Hell, examining the upsides doesn't even come into the process, that's not a step you need when you're already clearly interested in these things. STEP FOUR:

4. Act according to the dictates of your conscience. Step five?

5. Reap the sweet, hot, dirty harvest of your effing, effortlessly-effected efforts' effects.

Folks, this works for me every time - every dang time. Like a charm, it does. Like a spell, almost. It's because they can tell you didn't skip over step three! Not skipping over step three works just about every damn time. The process comes off without a hitch or a snag, just like one of those tawdry, vulgar sidebar ads touting "psychological loophole discovered in the gendered psyche of your preference, which techniques it behooves you (or so goes the overture) to seize and wield, to devastating and satisfactory who-could-even-believe-it-really-works-and-oh-shit-is-this-really-happening (yes!) effect! You should acquaint yourself with and master these techniques immediately, pal - NOW, before they are FOUND OUT and MADE TO BE AGAINST THE LAW. They work on WOMEN, if that's what you're into!"

Not that there's everything wrong with that.

There may be ones pitched at the non-gynosexual demographic as well, but if so I haven't seen them. Maybe gmail doesn't think my emails are dirty enough in the right direction to show me those.

Except the difference here is, those kinds of ads (or the products or services described, which amounts to the same damn thing) are always almost certainly BULL SHIT, at least - smells so to me. Full disclosure, I've never clicked and tried. There seems to be a number of competing outfits ganging in on that same basic pitch, and, my guess is, all different competing and conflicting creatively, wishfully-written methods, shoehorned in under the same proven basic umbrella pitch (one assumes, proven. Proven to gull the marks, I mean). Face it: there's no way most of those work, and I'd laugh loud and long at the idea any of them work at all. But the caveat is, I haven't tried them.

I haven't had to.

And now? Neither do you.

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