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Tuesday, November 28, 2017

Word of the day: "aver"

We here at Consider Your Ass Kicked! have long pondered the advisability of putting out a recurring feature to ape the hordes and scads of tony, literary, classy in a word social media outlets who favor (even favour) you with their "Word of the Day," and associated high-fluting noodle-musings upon the themes and variations it suggests to them.

Well, ponder no more, we here et al. Today's official Consider Your Ass Kicked! word of the day is: "aver."

"Aver" is such a bad word. Don't use it. Because it sounds like you're doing something squirrely! And as far as I can tell, you're not. I looked it up, and they'd have me believe you're perfectly on the up-and-up with that.

It's plain suspicious to use such a suspicious-sounding word to describe strictly legitimate doings.

"Aver" is a verb.

Don't.

4 comments:

Beach Bum said...

Advice taken, will avoid that word.

No, didn't read the disclaimer. I'll jump back and look it over.

dogimo said...

I wouldn't sweat it too much; I haven't read that thing in years.

Thanks for your comment!

VEG said...

What in the holy hell is "aver"? Is it AYver or AHver? What does it mean? Why do I suddenly feel like I'm in kindergarten and no longer know any words?

Also can you please tie my shoe laces?

dogimo said...

I...can.

See, the problem with "aver" (It's "a-VER", where the "a" is a schwa) is that it means to state as fact. But come on!

"It means to state as fact," Keith averred.

You can't tell me you trust Keith on that. He averred, it sounds veer and swerve are involved! You can just about see him avert his eyes, guiltily. Terrible word, for what it means.

Everyone's better off not using this one.