Open Dream Journal #A (new numbering): the clown

I had a dream where I was on a social media site where this guy I never liked, barely knew or interacted with (we didn't see eye to eye) who had a long-running shtick of drawing vignettes from his life as a cartoon clown (Smelly Stinky Diapers The Clown) had left a big sour goodbye post in which he as usual touted the greatness and indomitability of his weaponized glum clown persona but fuck you and fuck IT - he's done. 

I'm pretty sure the whole long-running thing was anti-comedy, since it didn't seem to be even trying to be funny. Just a clown in polka dot comically oversized diapers and blue nose (in the colored ones - most were b/w), huge frizzy clown wig that was a normal brown color, and makeup applied differently each time - in defiance of clown norms. You're supposed to be like a classic KISS member! Same face, bro! But it was not funny, nor trying to be, seemingly. Just sour human interactions and a grudge-filled thought balloon as he'd walk off each time pissed. 

Anyway, I left a comment that was part sincere tribute and part lamentation on clowns, kind of anti-clown overall yet sympathetic? It was beautiful. I was touched. I don't think he'd see it - I scrupulously didn't look at the post date, but I sensed he was long gone. 

When I woke up I realized I had no idea what that social media site was supposed to be, and as to this clown I'd never encountered him at all. Despite an immediate knowing of long if minor backstory and familiarity between us, and a seemingly deep memory of his (pretty well-drawn actually) cartoon clown persona hijinks! 

RIP Smelly Stinky Diapers 

It was weird. He seemed to be cryptically boasting how being a clown was excellent for getting laid by babes (he didn't put it so bold or vulgar, but pretty obvious) but because he wasn't getting the recognition he deserved overall - he was done clowning. Huh? Wait what are you a clown IRL, TOO? 

I thought the clownification was an add-on for art's sake. A lens through which to view ordinary life, by a self-image that improves nothing. 

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