Thursday, June 06, 2024

Madden Am Pro II.5b: The Battle Of Guernica

John: "I...what?" 

Al: "Well it's a beautiful day here in Solar Crescent Moon Stadium in..." 

John: "..." 

Al: "..."

John: "Do I...?" 

Stark: "That was one hell of an opening number, men! I hope nobody minds my 'costume' mishap." 

Al: "Melissa, you have never looked cooler or more professional. What was that look on your face a minute ago? News break??" 

Stark: "I...no." 

JOHN: "Well, up next we can see Nate...Green I think, his pants...look, I'm circling the affected area with my...what is this thing?" 

Al: "Most definitely Green! What are we to bid on a pair of pants that dark, right now?" 

John: "Bid...? I..." "...What is going on, down there? He was just-" 

Al: "Ohhhh! Right in the pants, well, folks I can't describe this for the folks at home too well...sausage?" 

John: "...that isn't. Oh shh! It's a turkey! Turkey leg, right?" 

Al: "Delicious. McDonald's knows how. Scotch on the rocks, here in lovely...the former town known only locally, ever since the Cowboys, well."

John: "This is! Great day for the Cowboys the world over here in their new home...home town..." 

Al: "New Texas! The white star rises and shines with pride, here in..." 

John: "Spain! I got that reference. It was....well." 

Pat: "Very well! Good call, John. But now, oh now it's...holy"

Stark: "I can't do this. I'm" 

Al: "And that's it for Melissa, guys. She's out sick I understand...hard job for any working..." 

JOHN: "HOLY TEAMS. We've got a...is that a moon landing being faked on the center...who is that? Tony Romo?" 

Pat: "Yes. Dear G*" 

Al: "There's no call for anything less than a celebration. That piece of art is currently on the block at Sothoby's, or Soth...some one, and it's gone in sixty seconds for a cool...well. For an article of sports memorabilia, let's all get one good last look at what happened. Tony?"

Tony: "Dear-" 

John: "Who...who is this promising young...Spanish? Upstart?" 

Pat: "Local boy, I'm afraid." 

John: "Made good?" 

Al: "Well, he's been a bad little boy of course, it's the nature of the game out here in what was once...a small, flyover...it's a village that's taken it's own share of history, that's sure. WHAT"

Stark: "Don't worry! I'm back in a robot costume for keeps, this time. My prior operand is not A-OK, but those rockets you see-" 

John: "Houston?" 

Stark: "The Rockets. You got it! Those are mockups, of course. Glare is all they can do at all, now, and-" 

Al: "I'm sorry, Malissa. We've got to break in on you with a very interesting cultural viewpoint going up." 

John: "I can't--see, all this smoke, it's--" 

Al: "Sausage?" 

John: "No. No, I couldn't possi-" 

Dennis Miller: "If you two could put her shirt back on just a tick, this is my line. Local boy, a bad ass, got caught out in the middle of a Prussian bomb testing ground. The brand, spanking stadium where Malissa put on such a show for us all in the hot, rainy Spain like sun for ours and ours alone is constructed on the very site! It's archaeology never before scene nor herd! Malissa?" 

Stark: "zzzz....zzzt" 

John: "I'm sorry, guys. Team. The home viewers, I can't...what did they just do to the little boy? Wasn't that-"

Al: "Pablo...?" 

John: "No...no I don't...who was Pablo?" 

Dennis: "No one of any consequence John. Don't worry, the masks being passed out to the front rows are purely for the risk of flash camera semiconductive combustion attacks. Allergies thick and fast out here, you know?" 

John: "So this is...The Hall Of Fame, Now?" 

...

...

Al: "Sorry for the film break, boys and girls viewing at home. That was a...some kind of transmission tic. Not to worry, our whole team's sweating up night and day to...fixed. Good."

John: "So this town. This was a whole...it was a museum, right? Spanish." 

Al: "John. John, this is...this is the second, annual...you can't say that now." 

John: "That little boy! He was-"

Pat: "Coming back off a long layaway program, being led out now onto the field in a positive storm of blood yellow and rose pastilles, this little lady's name is...John?" 

John: "Let me see. I can't. It's Nicole...Werra?" 

Al: "Close enough! Let's see if she can go for the high note. DRESSED LIKE THIS!" 

John: "Holy guys. This is not-"

Breaker M: "Yo yo. Yo yo I just broke in to talk to Steve Mariucci, before she can open her mouth. You guys are going to want to here what Steve said. Inspirational words: he said...! He said HOLY WOW-" 

John: "What is this game for? Are we--did we begin yet?" 

Al: "Just sit down for the anthem John. We don't need you yet. This young lady-" 

Nicole Wuerra: "oh" 

Dennis: "Say, can you see her-" 

John: "Tony?!" 

Al: "No, no John. That was just a bad electrical short. Pablo, was his...name once, I think. Don't worry. It was in all the papers back then. He had his...okay. We back?"

John: "Up next here in New Texas, the family style...FNL extravaganze...guys...I can't....let me circle the sick thing I see here, somebody has to--People! So many, I don't. All dressed in these loud, floppy costumes? Joining up like that! I'm sorry, but...why is that happening to them?"

Al: "..."

John: "What are those supposed to be, now? Red one. Blue one. Wait, I know the green one! Why are they...cartoon...horses? Who-" 

Al: "The Philadelphia Phillies, John."

John: "What? From baseball? All of them?"

Al: "Every last one of them. For a real treat, which the viewing audience at home will be entitled not to see...oh shit. Here's the anthem coming in, everyone! She's going--gone--wild--" 

Break. 

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No Compensation Of Any Kind Sponsor Break

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Coca-Cola Jingle -- by Tim Finn -- for THE COCA-COLA KID (youtube.com)


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