Whistleblowers Are Protected

I love it when I find out I have more crazy new rights that I wasn't aware of. America the beautiful, baby! I just happened to peruse this giant "it's The Law!" ("es La Ley!") wall banner whilst awaiting my turn at the employee restroom. Check this out:

1. An employer may not make, adopt, or enforce any rule, regulation, or policy preventing an employee from being a whistleblower.

2. An employer may not retaliate against an employee who is a whistleblower.

3. An employer may not retaliate against an employee for refusing to participate in an activity that would result in a violation of a state or federal statute, or a violation or noncompliance with a state or federal rule or regulation.

4. An employer may not retaliate against an employee for having exercised his or her rights as a whistleblower in any former employment.

I'm not sure what relevance #3 has to the whole bold pro-whistle stance being staked out here. Oftentimes a rival group of lawmakers will tack on some totally unrelated clause like that as a "pork barrel" measure. Which seems to be what happened here.

But screw it, who cares? I am going to bring my whistle in tomorrow, and blow it piercingly to my heart's content! And they can't do a thing to stop me. I know my rights! I even know how to say "whistleblower" in Spanish. It's "denunciante." Pretty El Sweeto!

Moleste el denunciante...es prohibido.